Gary Vaynerchuck Decides Body Holding Him Back, Transforms Into Dimensionless Being Capable of Inhabiting Infinite Stretches of Time and Space
“Sometimes you just gotta say fuck it.”
So spoke VaynerMedia Founder and President Gary Vaynerchuck during a recent speech on the importance of not giving a fuck before leaving audiences around the world absolutely stupefied with his ability to defy any and all laws of the physical universe in the name of “the grind,” and spontaneously vacating his body by transforming into a dimensionless entity capable of traveling through infinite stretches of time and space.
Those present reported feeling equal parts “amped” and terrified as the widely-renowned motivational speaker/entrepreneur/Human Can of Red Bull went on a ruthless tirade about them “not working hard enough” before proceeding to criticize the terrestrial universe itself for its incapacity to provide him a vessel capable of enabling the multi-galactic reach of his content and ideas.
The latest reports indicate that Vaynerchuck, now unburdened by the limitations of those bound to flesh and blood, has currently transcended the outer reaches of the Milky Way, and has already delivered a speech condemning remote alien life-forms for not focusing on their “long-term game.”