Hipster-isms #1

Dear People who are done with my constant, self-validating fucking blabber:

I’m worried. I feel coffee shops and book reading becoming as inseparably glued in my head as peanut butter and agonizing death at its creamy (or chunky- Thanks, Skippy), palette pleasing self when ingested by someone who’s allergic to peanuts.

To all those who lived to tell the tale of the hipster persona onslaught, What the fuck do I do?? And- can it be done while wearing a fedora?