Health Scares and The Importance of Carpe Diem.

Life is a fragile thing.

Anyone who keeps up with my facebook knows that I had a very scary day today. Without going into details for my own privacy, today I sat in the doctor while they read an x-ray that could have altered the course of my life completely.

I sat there thinking “what will happen to me? what happens to my future?” and so on.

The doctor came back in the room and said to rest easy and come back in six months. Crisis averted… for now.

I then went shopping with my mom to ease my mind, because there is nothing retail therapy doesn’t fix. Two dresses, combat boots and a pair of “good walking shoes” later I was still uneasy and nervous.

I got home, showed my father my purchases and began packing and organizing since I leave for Des Moines in a week. (I go to Des Moines to audition for shows, then drive home and immediately get on the plane to Italy, so everything has to be done before I leave.)

I hung up my new red dress and stopped. I needed a second to breathe. I lit one of my new Riesling candles and sat in my bed. I’m not a very religious person, but I do believe in God and His hand in our every day lives. I sat in my bed and prayed, and thanked Him for sparing me and for allowing me to move forward on my journey through life.

You see, what the doctors were discussing would have stopped my life completely, and by some Devine intervention I was allowed to walk out of the doctors office knowing that I can go see the world and live my life to the fullest extent.

There is something about your life hanging on a line that makes you want to seize the moment even more than you did before.

So now I am writting and putting this out to the world: live your life, now. Don’t wait like I did. Don’t allow fear to keep you from opportunities. I almost did, and I might not have ever seen Europe. I might not have gotten the chance to make the memories I will make. That is an absolutely terrifying thing. Don’t wait to find out how fragile your life really is.

I am now going to Italy with an entirely new mindset that I should have had long ago. There really is more to life than just existing and going through the motions of living. There is so much to see, and do, and be thankful for, and I am very frustrated with myself that it took something scary to make me realize how blessed I am and how many wonderful things are around me.

Each moment and each day is so precious. Do yourself a favor and do something that helps you live life to the fullest extent every day. Even if it’s just staying in bed for an extra five minutes before a long day, or adding a little extra sugar to your coffee. You are worth it.

Now, my two new dresses, combat boots, “good walking shoes” and I are even more excited to take on Italy. But more so, I am more excited about the new mindset this experience will help me grow into. I do frequently live life on the safe side. I go through the motions of living. I get by, but that isn’t enough anymore. This is my one shot to make it big in life, and I have to take it.

Okay, end cliche and depressing post about seizing life and run with it. But please, take my advice, and don’t hate me for the long emotional roller coaster of a post. I promise more positivity in my posts from now on. (:

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