Finding Your Forever
umair haque

A wonderful thought indeed. Though, I wonder how and why each of us reach our “forever”. Why that “forever” in particular? And what makes me convinced that it is the one, true “forever”?

It wasn’t extremely hard for me to determine my forever: inauthenticity and the obsession with reaching my most authentic form of self. It wasn’t particularly hard to determine, I think, due to my recent emotional breakthroughs and subsequent transformation.

When I think of my forever on a deeper level, however, I can’t help but feel that it is a kind of concomitant to childhood experiences and/or traumatic events that occur at any point in our lives. And, I feel that it is manifested in the form of a reaction to these events.

Could Camus’ forever be nothing more than a reaction to the absurdity he had to endure as a child? Did he have to make sense of his father’s absurd death, his mother’s barely eking out an existence by laboring, contrasted with the sensual delights of living in sunny Mondovi with a joyous, warm Spanish heritage?

Could Picasso’s forever be nothing more than a reaction to the lack of humanity he was surrounded with? His life’s works highlighting and condemning the fascism and atrocities he had witnessed? Was Einstein’s rebellious nature and contempt for authority, alongside his slow development as a child, the (reactionary) sources of his forever? The sources for his passion for comprehension, his need to understand why his special theory of relativity was at odds with some of Newton’s (highest authority in science at that time) principles?

Is my forever nothing more than a reaction to the inauthentic ways in which I was reared, and the inauthentic ways in which I was forced to live out my life?

Could your forever, the question of suffering, be a reaction to the suffering that came at you straight out of left field?

Inspiring as always Mr. Umair, thank you.

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