How to Say Goodbye to A Narcissist
I need to talk to you. It is going to be brief so please grant me the permission to hold your attention for no more than sixty seconds. I am leaving, and, since we aren’t able to tell what the future holds, or when our time will come, please listen to me. These may be the last words I ever share with you, for, who knows, I very well may die before you do.
Thank you for being considerate of the fact that I may die, and for allowing me to speak for a minute to you. Here is what I have to say.
Be strong, do not be weak. By strong, I don’t mean that you should be cruel. Do not insult, dishonor, and emotionally scar those who love and serve you. On the other hand, no one cares for you more than they do, and no one else will be there in your last hour. Be gentle, like your name proclaims, and treat them with respect and dignity.
Be strong. Wake up every day and splash some water on your face. Brush those goddamn teeth. Bathe when you’re able to, when the pain is not as sharp. Dress up like a don, like the don you always felt you were. Spray on some cologne and go out for a walk. Heck, you don’t even need to walk. Just sit outside and breathe in that fresh air, and take in those rays of sunlight.
Be strong. Read like your life depended on it, like you always used to. Grab a pen and write down those lame, incoherent poetic thoughts of yours; the ones you always used to boast with, the ones I hated but nevertheless praised you for, because I was small and weak.
Be strong. Relive your freest memories and nourish your soul. Relive those free moments and feed on them; the same way you fed those closest to you when you used to bake those cakes that she just told me about, when you weren’t around.
Relive that sweetest moment when you realized that all you wanted to do was to be who you wanted to be. Your true self. I know that moment, because you told me about it. It was a day I won’t ever forget, cannot forget.
You were, for once, vulnerable.
I’m not sure why, I doubt you were aware of my presence even but it was one moment when I was able to see right through you. Maybe it was Johnny’s fault, maybe for one moment you leapt over the wall of your ego, that self-erected wall that you repress all those feelings behind.
Be strong. Be stronger than him, and stronger than her, the mass murdering freaks that you still idolize. He was hiding in a hole in his last hour, hiding underground like a mole just as she was. Live the rest of your days with dignity. Get out of that hole that you have already dug up for yourself. Be proud, but not as you used to be, but as you always should have been.
I can’t possibly forget but I must forgive, because I now love myself and I am now finally strong.