Letter to my younger self
I had the privilege of attending Goshen Schools for my creche, nursery, primary and secondary school education — spanning roughly 13 years. In retrospect, I believe that schooling at Goshen gave me an enormous advantage in life. The reason is simple — Goshen does not pass just impart academic education, she teaches values necessary for good living. Goshen stretched me and imbibed in me values such as working hard, discipline, commitment to not cheating, respect for others etc. I graduated from secondary school 11 years ago and as I look back on my 13-year journey in Goshen, I recently thought about what advice I could give my younger self.
The following article is a reflective piece where my aim is precisely — to answer the question — “what advice would you give to the younger Sam in secondary school?”. To be honest, some of the lessons you would read about shortly are things you may be familiar with.
Dear Sam,
I hope you’re well. I understand that you have your WAEC, NECO and JAMB ahead of you and that you’ve got plans to study Computer Science. It took you a while to decide on that one, right? You wanted to be an aeronautical engineer, structural engineer, a pastor, even a footballer at some point. Whatever you decide to do, remember that by God’s Grace, you’ve got all it takes to succeed without cutting corners — cheating, forging certificates, lazying about etc no matter how popular they are. In life, how you succeed is just as important as succeeding itself. Succeed? What exactly is success you ask? Great question! People have different definitions for this word and it is important that you at least have an idea of the metrics to assess success by. First of all, I shall tell you what success, at least, according to my definitions is not:
- It is not about bringing other people down so you may rise. Remember, life is not a competition — you don’t win at life simply because someone else loses. Life is not a zero-sum game so even as you prepare for these big exams ahead, encourage those who are struggling in their courses, to look out for opportunities to help other students prepare. Remarkably, this pays — several people have confirmed that a person who teaches others learns better.
- Success is not necessarily defined by popularity. You can be popular but with the wrong circles. As much as you can, never sacrifice your values for popularity. I can tell you for a fact that your values will be tested as you navigate life. If you slip, acknowledge that you have and recommit yourself to your values.
- It is not merely the accumulation of wealth. Make no mistakes, there is nothing wrong with being wealthy or even prosperous. Where things start to get shaky is when you make the pursuit of wealth and glam your all-in-all at the expense of values like humility, diligence, excellence, collaboration etc
I believe that success is being where God wants you to be and doing what he wants you to do — plain and simple. This may look differently for different people and this brings me precisely to my first piece of advice -
1. Never compare yourself with other people: every single person in life is different with different starting points and contexts. I remember our amiable principal (my mum ), used to say something along the lines of “look at your 5 fingers, they’re not the same yet they’re all useful in their own way”. It can be easy, even attractive, to judge your progress by how well you’re outperforming someone else. I think a more useful approach is to ask yourself “Am I better in this task/area than I was yesterday”? If so, you’re on track. Comparing yourself particularly to those you’re ‘better’ than can give a ‘temporary’ sense of fulfilment. Temporary because you’d always need to be around ‘lower’ people to feel happy/fulfilled. On the other end of the spectrum, do not develop a sense of inferiority when you see others who excel in areas you are currently struggling with. Everyone perhaps knows this feeling. You see someone who is more wealthy, who has higher scores, who is more popular etc. We’re all different so do not compare yourself with others.
2. When you’re in circles when you’re not the smartest, or the most ‘successful’ or the most ‘spiritual’, use those opportunities to fan your curiosity, humility, and a desire to grow and learn. Do not give in to jealousy or inferiority. Your life is your life and it is special. Learning never stops and you can learn from anyone. Watch your circle. Your circle can expose you to information that could very well change your life. Conversely, it can influence you to join very wrong paths.
3. Take note of times/seasons — there is a time for everything. Everyone starts out somewhere. Even great big trees started out as a seed but went through the different seasons. Be patient with yourself, understand what season you’re in and give yourself maximally to it. Do not try to out-run the season you’re in. You’re in secondary school — focus on making the most of your education, resources and reading. Trust me, there would be seasons of relaxation, enjoyment, breaks etc. From point 2, if you’re in the right circles, hopefully you would be around people that respect times/seasons.
4. Be grateful for what you have — we live in an age of social media explosion. You hear of 16 year-olds at Harvard, 15 year-olds who are millionaires and have travelled the world and it can be easy to feel small. Oh Sam, never feel small. Greater is He that is in You than He that is in the world. You’re not at all inferior to other people. Celebrate the cards you were dealt — the family you were born in, the skills you have and the opportunities you have to grow. The good thing is that opportunities are endless and you can grow.
5. Invest in creating a personal learning culture — it is great that in Goshen, you have teachers and an environment that is invested in encouraging you to learn. However, you may not always have that around you. In those instances, it is up to you to create an effective learning culture. Learning, not cramming is important and remember I spoke about curiousity? Don’t just go through life accepting everything you are told. Ask questions, learn from other people’s answers. Learn always.
6. Stand your ground in your faith — It seems to me that it is in nature of life to test every human being. These tests may come in the form of the loss of a loved one, the loss of a dream, or financial frustrations. I have the privilege of hindsight to say that your faith is invaluable in those moments. You might have those who would rather you didn’t have faith or who would sell you alternatives. Stand your ground. Do not give in. Your beliefs as a Christian would keep you going — I assure you.
7. Have loads of fun — I know I’ve given a lot of ‘serious’ advice but it is important that I end with this. Enjoy every season of your life. Enjoy those random football games with your classmates, those times you play ‘Whot’ or ‘Ludo’. Enjoy the conversations, the ‘debates’ with your classmates on whether Messi did really well in that football match. Also, as you grow older, try to keep fit ehn? Engage in physical activity — run, play your table tennis. Nothing says being ‘serious about life’ means zero games or sports. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Explore — go on those trips with your mum, dad or siblings, ask questions. Embrace opportunities to travel — I find that education and exposure comes with travelling at times.
Before I end this, celebrate your teachers, your principal for all they do. Honour your parents, love them. They have sacrificed a lot for you and you must never take them for granted. Give them a big hug for me, would you?
You remember the song ‘Because He lives, I can face tomorrow”? Understand that in God, your future is bright. You’ve got all it takes.
Always rooting for you.
Much love, Samuel
