I Am Bradley Cooper’s Makeup Wipe, And My Destiny Has Been Fulfilled

Sam Pasternack
Aug 31, 2018 · 2 min read

Bradley Cooper removed Lady Gaga’s makeup with a wipe for her A Star Is Born audition. Now, the wipe speaks.

I’ve been in this game since the year 2000. Bradley bought me and the rest of my siblings at a Duane Reade on 89th and Columbus Avenue. I always dreamed that our pack would end up being bought by some fancy lady, but it’s like ma always said: you can’t pick who picks your pack.

The first day, Bradley brought us home to his apartment. When we got to his bedroom, he whispered to our…

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Sam Pasternack is a 1991 American live-action film. He has written for Someecards, McSweeney’s, and a few television programs. He is now available on VHS.

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