As humans, we strive to be accepted; into a club, a group of people, with ourselves, life, and much more. This need to “fit in” or “have it all figured out” helps us not feel hurt or left out, while possibly being ourselves or someone else.
Like most, I have dealt with my fair share of acceptances. “A Symbol of Acceptance: My Scar” was the title of my personal statement for college. It was a paper on my journey of acceptance of being adopted.
When I was adopted, my adopted parents found a burn on my left leg. I was fourteen months old at the time, so I have no memories of my burn, my birth, or my biological parents. Most importantly, over time I accumulated many questions. The thought of never finding answers troubled me especially when I felt I needed answers. I have no answers when a doctor asks about my family medical history, or when friends ask about my Chinese birth parents. When I was really young, I poured a lot energy into thinking what a tough life I had as an adoptee. Now I am older. The missing details of my life are not as unsettling for me. My focus is changing from retrospective to prospective.
My scar is now less visible; however, I know it is there. What started out as a fresh burn on my shin gradually healed and became barely visible under my knee. I am sure I cried when I was burned, now I hardly think about my scar. My scar is a reminder of my unanswered questions. The urgency to find answers has subsided much like the severity of my initial wound. My scar is my personal symbol of acceptance.
Over the years, I have learned to celebrate, embrace, and accept my uniqueness. Being apart of something is a great feeling. You feel safe, secure, and a “big deal;” however, during my third year in high school, I struggled “not fitting in” with people I did not want to be. I found myself doing and saying things because of others and not for myself. I was trying to seek approval and/or acceptance from others. I was lost and caught up in this “game” that I was not going to win.
I had to re-find my true self and gain confidence in me. A true friend greatly helped me at this time. I learned to find acceptance within myself and that those who actually love me for me will always be there no matter how much I drift or try to push them away.
A true friend will like you for you; no matter how you come. Giving you chances to redeem/find yourself. Accepting your faults/failures as actions of trying and being human. Possibly forgiving you, since they know and accept the real you.
As a person, you also have to accept your mistakes. You are human, just trying to survive, live, and thrive in this world. And those mistakes make you the person you are after. Someone who has gained experience.
The college I currently attend has really showed and taught me to be me. To accept others and yourself as who they and you are. To try and not judge the outside, but what’s on the inside and in the heart. Overall, to not care what others think becuase everyone is their own person, but together we can come and accept another for who we are and how we come. Because those who care too much (and/or do not like you for you) are ones not worth your time to please. Accepting yourself for you (and others around you as them) is the best you can do.
Life keeps going. Things are constantly changing around us. The smallest and biggest things change you. For the best and/or worst. We struggle to wonder why they happen or occur.
No one will ever know what makes things happen. Why they happen. All we can truly do is accept and move on with the change. Dwelling does not get you anywhere. Acceptance is a mature response. As kids we do not understand. Overtime we learn, develop, and change into someone that understands wasted energy could be put somewhere else for better use.
And who knows, maybe everything in life does happen for a reason. Like my grandma, I am a firm believer of this.
All you can do is try to appreciate every day and live life with no regrets (easier said than done). And if you fail, accept that too. We are all doing the best we can with the knowledge we know how at the time.
I apologize for my delayed post. Life has been happening, but all I can hope is to have gained more of an insight on this thing called Life. If you can not tell, I write these posts for others, but mostly for myself. Figuring out and explaining my own thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Anyways, thank you for reading! Expect a weekly post *almost* every Sunday!