Thank you for writing this. I’m a transman who’s currently fighting to start properly transitioning and this article was really.. I’m not sure of the word. Not exactly eye-opening, but I’m really glad that I got a chance to read it. I don’t have OCD, and I don’t want to say I understand what you’re going through and your experience, but it was good for me to read something written by another trans person deciding to not transition (in part for me, fulling in your case) because it would never be quite ‘right.’ There’s no switch, as you put it. I don’t often come across another trans person who feels in any way like this. Sometimes ‘as good as possible’ isn’t good enough, and sometimes I feel like a ‘bad transperson’ for thinking this. Thank you for sharing your experience. It was good for me to read it, for many reasons outside of just this. Thank you.