John. Put away that newspaper. It’s in French, you speak English. Go back to telemarketing. Telling your parents you sell insurance. Internship at this age? Who are you kidding?

Mary. Looking down like that all the time will make your neck crank. Shy in public? We all know about the camera in your bedroom and the monthly pay-checks from the guys in Florida.

Jack. Your headphones are too fucking loud. We all know you like Radiohead. Yes, you’re mighty cool and all, but fix up and look sharp. And buy some real trousers.

And Bill. Take a picture it lasts longer. She knows you’re doing it. You’re not as sly as you think. And no, those fleeting glances aren’t invitations.

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