I came off and SSRI several years ago now. It wasnt at all easy or pleasant for me. I hope it is not too onerous for you and you win yourself back. Like you I am also diagnosed BPD. Most recent research suggests a lot of people diagnosed with BPD actually have complex PTSD and that is why the therapy we usually are given doesnt work and can in fact make us worse.
Loved this piece. Thank you for writing it. It was six months ago, how are you doing now?