The types of asshole you meet

I really wanted a way to categorize the different type of assholes out there. In a world of possible assholes, I needed to narrow down to a specific environment. With the recent turmoils happening at Uber and the toxicity of the cut-throat SV culture, I decided to narrow it down to the most infamous and the dark side of the valley. At first, my style of tell it as it is seemed a bit stark, so I decided to enlist the help of my good friend, Irvin Ruan. A prolific, satirical, and humous writer. I thought he would be the perfect contrast to my dark and stormy side of things. We came up with a lot, but trimmed it down to our top 10. I hope this list will add some soft chuckles to your day.

The argumentative asshole.

“Look, I hate to be that guy, but I think you should add an extra decimal point just for same measure.”

The funny asshole.

“So, how about those TPS reports, am I right?”

The gossipy asshole.

“Did you hear that Phil from HR hooked up with Pam from Legal? Crazy, right?!”

The micro-manager asshole.

“Frank, let me take over the presentation. You’re barely getting the point across.”

The grammatical asshole.

“Hey man, I read your email. You misused a comma for a semi-colon.”

The cheap asshole.

“Co-worker who doesn’t chip in $2 for birthday gift.”

The asshole loads up on corporate jargon for normal things.

“Why don’t we touch base about your birthday party later?”

The “Well, Actually…” asshole who always corrects you.

“Well, actually, Excel spreadsheets were inspired by a 19th century cartographer named…”

The asshole that loves hitting on your girlfriend at a work conference.

“I don’t have to explain this one…”

The ungrateful asshole.

“I needed this report yesterday.”

Who is the asshole now?

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