Stop forgetting: how to apply what you read into your life, now
Don’t blame your memory. Do this instead.
I’ve read tons of articles, and I don’t remember most of them. They always inspire me, and as I reach towards the end, enthused, I jump onto the next article.
This is the case with books too. Even conversations that, then, felt like a turning point in my life. If I could count the conversations that had the potential to change me entirely, I’d be out of count — but not really, because I don’t remember most of them.
This isn’t to say I’m too distracted to remember long pieces of content (whether they be verbal, written, or on video). I often give a lot of thought into conversations.
But after observing this happen, again and again, I started noticing a pattern.
“Most things are forgotten over time …. We’re so caught up in our everyday lives that events of the past are no longer in orbit around our minds. There are just too many things we have to think about everyday, too many new things we have to learn.” — Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
When I attended classes back in university, I would tell myself that as soon as I’m home, I’ll remember the vital piece of information we learned. Why? Because it is unlike anything I’ve ever heard before; thus, it’s only logical that I’ll remember it. Fast-forward to the next day; I’m studying for Thursday’s test, and guess what? I forgot that one-thing-the-professor-mentioned.
Even though it was the highlight of my day.
Even though it Blew. My. Mind. Away.
I’ve got friends that remember. And by remember, I mean really remember every detail and use it right back against me whenever I contradict myself, 3 years later. I’m just not like them.
What I did
To counter this problem I experienced in the classroom, I did what any good student would do: wrote notes!
I wrote notes about most things, if not everything, and especially things I thought I would still remember later. After that, I had all this information in a notebook or pieces of paper. (Some prefer typing on a laptop, but we were not allowed that luxury.)
I read my notes after class, read them before the test, and then again before the final exam. Not only that, but I also shared the information that struck me with my friends. I studied literature for bachelors, so I could apply some of the theories we studied in my daily life.
Sure, being a student of literature made me a miserable ball of sadness that saw no point in life except the eventual death of all we know (thanks, Sartre) but this also means that my method was practical, and it worked.
What’s the point of all this?
- After reading an article, don’t jump to the next one. Jot down what you learned — a few points you can apply to your life — and by the end of the week, you’ll have a good stack of notes.
- Reflect, if even for just 3 minutes, then continue reading. These notes are glimpses of what you read or learned in the week. It’s up to you to apply them.
- After an exciting conversation, take out your phone and start typing away. Save it and get back to it later. No, not like bookmarking that one blog and leaving it in your dusty bookmarks folder. Really go back to your notes as you would during an academic semester.
- Save the names of ideas you find interesting. When someone mentions the name of a book or a cool place to visit, I quickly take out my phone and save it in my phone’s ‘memos’ option. I’ve developed the habit of looking back at them, especially when the mobile’s my only source of entertainment.
So, if you’re learning anything from this article, write it down. Get back to it later. Reflect and share these ideas in a conversation with your friends.
You will always forget
Even if you do everything I just preached, you’ll still forget.
Wait, what about all of those ‘do-this’ and ‘do-that’?
“The objective of learning is not necessarily to remember. It may even be salutary to forget. It is only when we forget the early pains and struggles of forming letters that we acquire the capacity for writing. The adult does not remember all the history s/he learned but s/he may hope to have acquired a standard of character and conduct, a sense of affairs and a feeling of change and development in culture …” ― Henning Hansmann, Education for Special Needs: Principles and Practice in Camphill Schools
I’ve forgotten great lines of poetry I’d recited for weeks, and quotes from The Great Gatsby and The Brave New World that reformed my world-view, or even quotes from Medium — that I still highlight, with hopes that I’ll go back and read them, as they sit next to a bookmark column ridden with click-bait titles.
Gonzalo Ziadi wrote an article on forgetting what you read, and why that’s okay. What’s important is that he discussed his frustration, just as mine, in forgetting great ideas. He also came up with a great conclusion. Writing notes had an adverse effect on his enjoyment of reading.
Realizing that life is not a classroom, you cannot possibly take out a paper and pen to write notes during an intense conversation.
Reading changes you anyway
“It is not what we remember exactly, but what we transform which is of real value to our lives. In this transformation the process of forgetting, of allowing subjects to sink into the unconscious before “re-membering” them is an important element.” ― Henning Hansmann, Education for Special Needs: Principles and Practice in Camphill Schools
Don’t be disappointed. As frustrating as it can be to forget the name of the book you read last year on the very topic you’re discussing with a friend now, you still remember why you hold particular views on that specific topic.
Let’s take ‘existentialism’ as an example-topic. If you’re into existentialism, you may have entered a phase of reading for the likes of Camus, Nietzsche, and Kafka, and despite not remembering the titles of their short stories, novels, or essays, you will still remember how these writings shaped you.
“But still, no matter how much time passes … there are some things we can never assign to oblivion … They remain with us forever, like a touchstone.” — Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
Even if you do not consciously make an effort to change your life, your life will be shaped by what you read. This is for the very apparent reason that no one reads post-modernism then smiles — perhaps for the irony, or the impeccable style of writing, but not because it enthuses happiness in yourself.
After reading just a few chapters of the Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami, I felt upset for months later. And this is not an exaggeration. And this is not because I am an overly emotional person, but, on the same days I read those chapters, my mood became carved by the book. Consequently, my mood affected how I approached decisions and what I chose to read and do for the months that followed.
“You can hide memories, but you can’t erase the history that produced them…. If nothing else, you need to remember that. You can’t erase history, or change it. It would be like destroying yourself.” — Haruki Murakami, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage
When you consume upsetting media, it consumes you back. When you consume specific ideas, they make you think about them.
Whatever you read affects your world-view. Because even if you discuss it for a week or a month, you will still learn from these conversations.
What’s important is to do something about it. Write or speak or reflect on it. Just don’t let the ideas rot in your head after you read them.
And that’s more than enough.
