Why I ended my love affair with journalism

At first it was April O’Neil from The Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles. Then there was a variety of those BBC types who I then started to admire. Eventually though, it would be the likes of Hunter S. Thompson, Robert Fisk, and Alan Johnston — journalists who I discovered while at the University of Toronto, and later on, at journalism school.

The aforementioned individuals exuded such prowess in their writing, their penmanship, completely out of this world. The thing was, they told a story, they could draw you in and hold and captivate your attention through those succinctly punctuated sentences. From that perspective, it takes a special kind of person to become a journalist.

But, that’s just where the story begins. I’ve always held foreign correspondents in high regard, I think it was because, growing up, I loved international politics, loved discussing it with my father, with friends, professors and teachers. Politics, and journalism, for me went hand in hand.

I especially liked Fisk and Johnston because, that’s how I think journalists should be. Their actions in the field, as foreign correspondents, displayed such fine dedication, hard work, honesty and just a sheer love for the profession.

Admiring such journalists, always taught me if it weren’t for them, who would keep government, corporations, and politicians in check. There was a sense of integrity closely entwined with journalism. But that integrity is quickly disappearing before our eyes with the pinnacle of hyperbole-type tabloid journalism.

Don’t get me wrong — good journalism exists, but it’s becoming more rare. Journalism as we knew it has pretty much died off. Most importantly though, the number of struggling journalists who I personally know, who work night and day to make ends meet, is shameful. To what avail though, you might ask. For a job that has them working a contract of some months, if they’re lucky, with absolutely no health benefits, unsuitable hours, fairly low income per hour. And with the mental threat of ‘when will I lose my job.’

For the longest time, even before I went on maternity leave, I had struggled with the idea of staying in journalism. Now, the culmination of a few things has prompted me to finally start working again. My two year old will likely be admitted to Montessori in a year’s time. So, that means that I given myself, roughly a year or less, to study another profession.

I want to to design. I want to be a designer. I should’ve known all along. But life has a strange way of telling you what you have always wanted to reaffirm yourself. Since my epiphany some weeks ago, I’ve come to realize that I needed something more re-assuring for my soul, my life.

I love being a mother, but for me, I think I’ve reached a point where I need to be active in a different kind of way, and have a job. And being here, in the Silicon Valley, what better way to put my creative knowledge to work, and become a designer. As a designer here, I would have the ability to freelance from home, from a cafe, or a park, thank the stars for California’s nice weather.

As a part of the Millennial generation, I have struggled a lot with the burden of choice. Finally, I have attained some peace. It’s been a number of weeks since I took up design under the tutelage of my brilliant designer husband. It’ll take me sometime, but I’ll perfect it one day soon.

So long journalism as I once knew you, and romanticized you. Dylan was right. ’The Times They Are A Changin’.”