Does being nice really work?

Jonathan Sand
Sep 8, 2018 · 2 min read

Mostly not. Our culture doesn’t encourage it. Instead, profit is demanded and greed manages to thrive. It’s a gigantic game, he who dies with the most toys wins, with lots of stress and effort along the way.

Let’s daydream together about a different game, one where our culture encourages being nice. Could this actually work?

Instead of money, all basic needs are free. House, health, training, food, utilities, transportation, etc. Lots of people are involved in creating these things. Builders, farmers, professionals, etc. Each person delivers their contribution in exchange for being nice points. This is the game. Fewer opportunities for backstabbing and petty nastiness.

These points count towards fulfilling your passions or dreams. The nicer you are the more you can dive into them. Over time, being nice becomes a natural tendency, something you associate with your dreams.

Even when being nice points are not involved, and even when social conditions are unpleasant (traffic, crowds, obstacles) this tendency may prevail, creating an atmosphere of patience and generosity.

However, will this create a thriving world population? Will the desire to fulfill our passions and dreams be enough to supply basic needs to every last person?

Currently a sad fraction of us have less than basic needs. Fear plus greed currently motivates the world population to provide basic needs for the rest of us, and perhaps several hundred times more than this for the wealthy few. Can desire to fulfill passions and dreams motivate us to provide basic needs for all and enough more to provide for everyone’s passions and dreams? Does the human race really need the wealthy few?

Unfortunately for this game, people will simply obscure their selfish intensions. Overcoming this will require something more. Something to overcome our current, planet-wide notion of “I am different and better than you.” Something along the lines of “together, we are a species.”

I am mostly the same as you. As I listen to and watch you, emotions arise. I focus on who you are and wonder what are your emotions, perspective? I may not be you but I can relate to who you are. Maybe only just a little and maybe that’s enough.

To do this well takes skill, requires practice. Helps if you begin early in childhood. For us grown ups, here and there, we have rare examples of getting along, of deeply relating, to marvel that it does indeed exist. Which means a lot more that it might seem.