Day 5: Don’t Find Something You Love And Let It Kill You.
It’s Day 5 of my ‘Working in Public’ experiment. I’m starting to feel a little self-absorbed after writing so much about me and the things I want do. Hopefully these posts don’t become fodder for My Impact Is Bigger Than Your’s — the satirical Tumblr that takes the piss out of self-aggrandising change-makers.
But will I let that moment of insight stop me?
Will I hell!
Where have we got so far?
Day 1. Lifefulness —the idea of building secular and inclusive congregations.
Day 2. The Crisis in Meaning and Belonging —the twin meta-problems Lifefulness tackles.
Day 3. A Vision: a rumination on what could happen if Lifefulness works.
Day 4. Field Builder — the work of building the field of practice of Lifefulness.
Day 5 seems like a good opportunity to write about the things I will actually to do, that will build the field of practice, that will achieve the vision, that will solve the problem, that is the purpose of Lifefulness. What a sentence.
Here goes….
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(Don’t) Find Someting You Love And Let It Kill You
The evening after the first Sunday Assembly, I cycled back to my house with my heart fit to burst. This was work that harnessed the joy of performing, in order to help people live their best lives and to build community.
In the first year, the more I worked at Sunday Assembly, the more I had this feeling of unity between the work that I love and a cause to serve.
At times the symbiosis seemed otherworldly: people across the globe started their own Sunday Assembly chapters as Pippa and I created videos, wrote blogposts and hosted events.
My skills as a comedian, writer and producer were helping a wonderful community, with an awesome co-founder and an exciting vision.
However….
As time went on the demands of delivering Sunday Assembly meant that there wasn’t as much room for this work. Literary agents or production companies would get in touch with ideas for books and documentaries but, as they weren’t essential and the team was stretched thin, the proposals couldn’t be developed further.
The administrative demands of Sunday Assembly grew quicker than our resources, for the best possible reason — we had a beautiful, passionate network of organisers and volunteers growing vibrant communities.
Becoming an A.D.D.-ult
Some of these struggles with the logistical and admin load, made more sense when in July 2018 I was diagnosed with A.D.D.. That’s a whole other story but it really explained why there certain tasks at Sunday Assembly were particularly draining…
A quick Insta search will find plenty of inspirational pictures with the quote, (misattributed to Bukowski): “Find What You Love And Let It Kill You”.
Don’t do that.
Serving the cause you love shouldn’t be fatal.
The answer to my conundrum “The Cause I Love vs The Work I Love”, came when Ashoka made me one of their Fellows. They welcomed me in, then gave me a presentation on Systems Change that really changed me.
The key to Systems Change was to create Indirect Impact — helping other people to put an idea into practice.

And guess some of the best ways of creating Indirect Impact?
- Writing books.
- Publishing in the media.
- Speaking in public.
- Training others.
- Bringing people together.
I was like — SHIT! — that is exactly the sort of showing off, let’s-have-a-party, look-at-me bullshit that my years of comedy made me great at and that I love doing.
What a relief to learn that the skills I am most passionate about using, are the ones that can help Sunday Assembly and Lifefulness spread across the world.
As we get into the tail end of 2018, I can’t wait to create projects that can catalyse a coalition of go-getters — partners, participants, funders, researchers and their ilk — who want to build inclusive, secular congregational communities.
Exactly what that looks like, who knows? But finding out will be fun.
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Day 5. OK. This project is taking up more time than I thought it would. But that’s alright, as it is helping me get clear on stuff.
As ever, if you like the sound of Lifefulness join the Lifefulness Facebook Group. This is a welcoming space for folk who want to take part in this endeavour.
