You Are Not Equal. I’m Sorry.
Dina Leygerman

You my dear are a condescending, hypocritical, misandristic woman. I for one will not thank you for walking in a march that you chose to protest in. But I do thank my mother and grandmothers for giving birth to me and the women in my family instead of having an abortion. I am blessed to have so many strong, loving women in my family. You do not speak for me, nor have I asked you to. I am not a victim.

You can tout the many good things about Singapore being safe at night and Estonia’s maternal leave, New Zealand’s wage gap, etc, etc. But while you’re at it why not mention the oppression that women in countries like Afganistan, Democratic Republic of Congo, Nepal, Sudan, Guatemala, Mali, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and Somalia are still illiterate, can’t drive and subjected to genital mutilation and raped on a daily basis; in short are denied every possible human right imaginable. Why not go help these women, who need it the most. Women have been hurt — a lot. This is not news. I find it incredibly hypocritical that women wishing for equality in the world think it is okay to perpetuate negative stereotypes of men. I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t help. Discrimination can’t be used to fight discrimination; this makes us look petty at best and snowballs the issue at worst. I once read an article arguing that misandry couldn’t possibly exist because women have been hurt so much more, so it must be that discrimination against men just doesn’t count. This is absurd; it’s not a contest.

Did you know that studies show that 93.1% of occupational fatalities are male. Gender disparity in workplace fatalities in the most recent year: 4,101 men died on the job (93.1% of the total) in 2013 compared to only 302 women (6.9% of the total). The “gender occupational fatality gap” in 2013 was considerable — nearly 14 men died on the job last year for every woman who died while working. A disproportionate number of men work in higher-risk, but higher-paid occupations like coal mining (almost 100 % male), fire fighters (96.5% male), police officers (86.6% male), correctional officers (72.8% male), logging (97.9% male), refuse collectors (95.2%), truck drivers (94.8%), roofers (99.3% male), highway maintenance (98.9%) and construction (97.4% male). To promote a goal of perfect gender pay equity, women are probably not realizing that they are simultaneously advocating a huge increase in the number of women working in higher-paying, but higher-risk occupations like those listed above. The reality is that a reduction in the gender pay gap would come at a huge cost: several thousand more women will be killed each year working in dangerous occupations. Would achieving the goal of perfect pay equity really be worth the loss of life for thousands of additional women each year who would die in work-related accidents? Are you willing to do those jobs and take those risks for your loved ones? How many of the women who marched Saturday would do so?

It is you who don’t get it! You are the one who doesn’t want to admit that there are some of us good strong women who choose the life we have, we love it. And I don’t feel like I “settled” for anything. I chose it. I am not a victim who is stuck and think that this is my ‘lot in life’. I am not “a second hand citizen”. You are the victims of your own hatred. I have nothing against fighting for equality, but what I don’t think is “classy” is the way the women who marched chose to dress, act and speak so inappropriately (not to mention leaving such a mess behind for someone they felt less than them to clean up after). It was degrading to our gender.

You hate the word pussy only when it comes out of a man’s mouth (i.e. our President, who said it in a private conversation, which countless men have done and will always do; just as you and countless women have talked explicitly about a man’s genitalia. He did not do it publicly and in front of children, you did). Unlike you I choose to be a lady of decorum and conduct myself in a manner that will inspire respect. I choose not use the word pussy to describe a man who isn’t up to your standard of manhood, just as I choose not to call him a prick. You have no idea what my standard of manhood is. And I’m not going to bother to explain it to you either because you are a misandrist and ‘wouldn’t get it’.

As far as having a say about your own body, you do. You can choose celibacy or birth control over getting pregnant and there is the morning after pill as well. And yes it was a choice for you to have sex; therefore it is your responsibility to deal with the consequences of your own actions (that also includes STDs). Expecting someone else to pay for your choice of getting pregnant is not their responsibility. I have control over my own body and prefer not to kill a child. As far as paying taxes for your sanitary needs, did you know that men also have sanitary needs? They make panty liners for men too, they are called Depends. We may bleed from our vaginas once a month, but imagine having to deal with urinary continence or bowel leakage on a daily basis.

If you want to protest, go for it. That is your right (of which you have many), but do not look down upon other women who choose not to as ‘second hand citizens’. I think you are doing more harm than good in spewing your hatred. Don’t assume that you speak for all women or that we all need to march to prove that we actually care and support other women. I believe we all care about our future and the future of the women who come after us.