6 Ways to Change Your Perspective and Become A Happier Person

9 min readMay 2, 2019

“What’s it going to take to for me to be happy?”

You keep trying to change your life and find fulfillment, but something always happens that ruins everything.

You’ve tried reading books, even blogs. Nothing works.

You think it’s just not in the cards for you to actually enjoy your life. Setback after setback. You just can’t take it anymore.

You feel like you’re destined to be miserable. Maybe happiness is just for other people? It’s certainly not for you.

You don’t even have time to make positive changes in your life — to work towards happiness. You have so much going on, spending time on that would be selfish.

Except… it’s not.

When you’re happy, the people around you feel it. It makes them happier too.

#1: Put Your Negativity On Paper

First things first. In order to change your perspective to be happier, you need to know what makes you unhappy.

Write down what makes you negative or puts you in a bad mood. Keep track of this for a few days. Then, take a look at everything you have written down.

What do you see? What themes are revealed to you? Maybe you’re seeing some of these:

Anything about your job — the work itself, your boss, your colleagues, the commute, it’s unfulfilling, it’s annoying, doesn’t pay enough, dead-end job
Finances — living paycheck to paycheck, can’t seem to get ahead
Where you live — your home (too old, too small), your neighborhood, your street, the distance to others
Lack of support and encouragement from friends and family
No time for you — so busy with work, family, and community responsibilities there’s no time for you
Your age — you feel it’s too late to make any changes, you’re “old”

Recognize these negative thoughts head on. Only then can you work on changing those thoughts into positive ones.

#2: Get a Glass of Positivity

Now that you know what makes you think negatively; you need a shift in your thinking.

Believe you can, and you’re halfway there. ~Theodore Roosevelt

First, in each negative area you identified in #1, look for the positive. This will be challenging at first, do give it a try.

For instance, at work — what is one positive thing about it? The hours, your space, you work from home, there is that one person that is pleasant, your boss might be bad but doesn’t bother you too much, the parking, etc. Make a list of the good things you can find, no matter how small.

Then, for the next week or so, focus as much as you can on the good things you identified in each of your negative areas. Why?

When you can project a positive attitude, people see you differently. Things begin to turn around for the better, including your outlook.

Think about it, when you focus on the negatives, all you see is negativity. One bad thing leads to another bad thing. Listen to yourself talk the next time you start complaining.

Change your focus to the positive and you will start to see the positive most of the time.

With your list of things that put you in a bad mood, what can you avoid, remove, or limit? What steps can you take to change your circumstances?

Let’s See How This Works

Trying to find a new job? If you’re negative, you always sound like you’re complaining — it’s the job, it’s your boss, it’s your colleagues, it’s the commute, it’s the low pay, etc.

It’s hard to find a new job when people know you as a complainer.

Okay, so you can get job interviews, but you don’t do well. How can you improve your interviewing skills? You need to know what’s being asked.

It’s the questions interviewers love to ask (good interviewers) — situational and behavioral questions. They want to know about how you’ve handled things in the past or what you think. Without you realizing it, your negativity and complaining come through.

That’s a turnoff for the interviewer. You need to know how to answer these questions. Read this post by Ivy Exec: How to Positively Answer Negative Interview Questions.

Listing out your negativity is a great first exercise as it brings awareness to what’s going on in your mind. Then, you can recognize it, find something positive about it, and begin your mental shift.

You often don’t realize what you’re saying and how it projects out to others. Now, though, it’s time to start looking at the good.

#3: Pull Out Your Journal

Some call it a gratitude journal. Others call it a positivity journal. You can call it what you like —as long as it’s a positive title. It should reflect you.

For tips on how to journal and why journaling works, read Why Keeping a Daily Journal Could Change Your Life by Benjamin Hardy.

The idea for journaling is to look for the positive. Look for what’s working and what’s not working. When you identify what’s not working, reflect on how you can make it better.

Journaling can help lessen stress and anxiety because you’re letting it out of you. It’s flowing through you to the paper. It’s a release.

You need that release after a long day or an especially hard day. Get it out as soon as you can. Don’t hold on to the negativity. You’re trying to remove that grumpy look on your face and grumpy attitude.

Always end on a good note, in your writing. Finish with something good that happened, something you’re thankful for, or even something you’re looking forward to.

You want your journal to become more positive as you work through changing your mental mindset from negative to positive.

Here are a few tips to get you started with journaling:

Use any journal or notebook you like — just make sure it’s not scattered paper
Keep it by your bed or in a quiet place of your choosing
Write for a few minutes every day — some people write first thing in the morning for a positive outlook on the day, some write in the evening of what happened, while others do both
Write what feels right — don’t sensor yourself
Use your journal as you see fit — you don’t have to share it if you don’t want to

Once you’ve done this for a couple of weeks, look back through and reflect on what you’ve written. Surprised? Look again after a month. Surprised now?

As you begin to journal more you may notice where your thoughts seem to unconsciously go. Your subconscious may be trying to tell you something — you need to change something.

#4: Tap Into Your Shoulda Coulda Wouldas

You wanted to look for a new job, you knew you should’ve. Do it now.

You wanted to look for a new place to live, you could’ve last year when you had the opportunity. Do it now.

You wanted to find a new social group of friends but didn’t. Do it now.

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. ~Chinese proverb

Hindsight is 20/20. Use that hindsight to move yourself forward. Make a list of things you almost did — your shoulda, coulda, woulda list.

Set a goal for yourself. Don’t bog yourself down with a lot of goals. You’ll start to feel overwhelmed. Instead, focus on one goal.

Prioritize that list. What stands out to you? What negative thoughts do you have around your list? Maybe it’s because:

You almost took that new job offer but something held you back. Now you wish you had.
You had the opportunity for a new relationship but didn’t take the leap. Now you wish you had.
You could have accepted some help from someone, but your pride said no. Now you wish you had.

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. ~Søren Kierkegaard

What are all your wishes? Which keeps drawing you back in? Can you still make it happen? Have you tried? Give it a try!

You tried but it didn’t work out? Try a new perspective. Go back to your scorecard — what are some of the positive things you’ve been writing about?

Still having a hard time moving forward? It’s time to get something to boost your happiness, even if it’s just enough to get you started on making your wishes come true.

#5: Get an Endorphin Rush

Endorphins are a chemical release in your body. They are the “feel-good” chemicals and can boost happiness, thus boosting your positivity.

You’ve read about how endorphins from exercising boosts your happiness. Physically exercising, such as the “runner’s high,” is the most common way to boost your endorphins.

Any type of physical activity will do this for you. What do you like to do?

Running
Hiking
Working out with weights
Yoga or Pilates
Treadmill
TRX
Ball stretches
Riding a bike

However, you HATE exercising. The word itself put you in a bad mood. What if you didn’t have to exercise to experience an endorphin rush?

There are other natural ways in which you can have a boost of endorphins. Try these and see how you feel afterwards:

Laughing — it is the best medicine. The next time you laugh, notice how you feel. How long do you keep smiling? Even if you must fake laugh, that works, too. Force yourself to smile and laugh, you’ll notice a difference.
Helping Others — it’s a feel-good activity and a win-win for both of you. Help a friend, family member, neighbor, or even a stranger. This also helps with the social connection we humans need. Another positivity moment.
Dancing — by yourself or with others. Put on your favorite music, take a break, and dance for a few minutes. While you’re at it, sing loudly to the song! The joy you experience brings on the endorphins.
Getting Outside — catch the Vitamin D. The sun naturally gives us Vitamin D, but it also boosts our endorphins. Sun in moderation!
Playing — haven’t played in a while? How about a game of neighborhood basketball or football? Even running around in your backyard or in the park with your kids or dog is awesome. You can also play board games or card games with a group of people. This has the social connection we humans need, as well as bringing on laughter and smiles. A triple dose of endorphins!

When it comes down to it, you need to make the choice to do something different. Get outside the box you’ve built around yourself. Go find those endorphins, either through exercise or being around other people.

#6: Rip Your Box Apart

Limitations and walls — you feel them all around you.

Don’t ever quit. There will always be hurdles and obstacles. Don’t turn those into a box to where you can’t escape. Inside your box feels safe. But you are missing out on things on your shoulda, coulda, woulda list.

The future seems impossible. That’s because of your box. Look back through your journal and see how far you’ve come. When you reflect, you realize what you can do.

How real are those limitations and walls? Did you place them on yourself because of something that happened? It’s in the past. Is it still relevant? No. Throw it out of your box — you have no room for it in your life.

You’re a smart person. You have achievements to your name. But you somehow have boxed yourself in, probably without realizing it. How long have you been here?

It’s time to rip apart that box and get out of your own way.

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin. ~Mother Theresa

Remember your wish list of your shoulda, coulda, wouldas. What’s stopping you from acting on those wishes? They will stay wishes unless you do something — unbox yourself.

You can’t seem to break down that box? Grab some endorphins and then give it a try. When you have that boost of happiness, things seem less challenging. You feel invincible!

Put on your superhero cape and kick down that box! The more you do this, the easier it will become. And before you know it, you’re completely out of your box and looking at life with a new perspective.

Your Turn — Get Happy!

Changing your perspective to be happy takes practice.

Look at those setbacks through a different perspective. Find the value in those setbacks.

Setbacks are a great source of learning, of new knowledge, of what not to do.

Know what you want to do to be happy. Find the books and blogs that speak to you.

Know your purpose for wanting to change your perspective.

Then, try the resources above, in any order, to help guide you to your happiness.

Imagine waking up feeling refreshed and looking forward to being happy for the day.

Imagine going to bed with a smile, knowing you did everything you could to change your perspective that day and have a happy day. You’ll sleep better knowing you did.

Take it one day at a time.

You are on your way to having a new perspective to being happy.