It’s Okay To Be The Damsel-In-Distress AND The Hero

Sandra C Mendez
3 min readJun 16, 2017

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A couple of years back I was in a pretty bad state.

I couldn’t bring myself to admit my depression, figuring this was just a thing that everyone went through.

Years later I’m still unsure if that was spurred by denial and a desperate attempt to feel less lonely or to justify my decision against seeking professional help, probably a mix of both.

In any case, during that time I sought refuge in what I knew: music and television. I found a wonderful distraction as the companion the Doctor didn’t know he had and (poorly) sang my heart out to the sad mix CDs I’d made myself.

One of those songs had a lyric that I’d never really noticed before, but ended up resonating with me (and still does):

“I’m the hero of this story, don’t need to be saved.”
— Regina Spektor

(I think the lack of originality should be forgiven considering the aforementioned depression-in-denial state I was in.)

I’d been waiting to be saved. 100% cartoon Daphne Blake status.

via tumblr

Every rom-com had seeped into my subconscious and I was waiting for some meet-cute to spark my recovery.

I was upset. Why couldn’t I be my own hero?

Until I realized, well…I could be.
The only person stopping me was me.

Now I’m not saying that I miraculously cured myself of depression or anything of the sort. I’m actually in therapy right now and 10/10 would recommend it to anyone thinking of seeking professional help.

What I’m saying, is that I realized I couldn’t afford to put my emotional well-being into someone else’s hands. Honestly, as a self-proclaimed control freak, I can’t believe that was even a subconscious consideration.

This is the 21st century and I am perfectly capable of being the damsel-in-distress and the hero.

Although since then my mix CDs have been upgraded to Spotify playlists and Regina Spektor is no longer part of my go-to for “Sad Feels” music, the idea sticks with me.

When I feel down and want to hide, or at the very least Airplane Mode and Netflix with buckets of ice cream, I acknowledge that.
It’s okay to feel like a damsel-in-distress.
But be your own damn hero.

Whether that means being brave enough to ask for help or facing situations alone, remember:

…You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
— A. A. Milne

Do you agree? Disagree? Did I miss something? Tell me in the comments!
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