I guess that is what we all want: walk together in harmony. We can inspire each other in leading the way here and there — but to be pushed calls always for a counter-pressure and we end up pushing against each other and we loose our way. As you said: you lost your lightness and joy.
We have to ‘let the other be’ in respect and decency. Yes we are equal in worth — never to forget!
I found with my long term partner, that we end up pushing each other, when we have given up on respect before. Respect is really key and the foundation of a lovely relationship. And gives me a safety as well. Not just to ‘get’ it from my partner, but that I can trust in my respect for others is also a strong foundation for me. It is lived integrity, and this is not to underestimate.