Today I wait and wonder,
Why did my energy stall?
I should’ve predicted this blunder,
And anticipated my fall.
I thought I had it covered,
I was pulling in front of the race.
My mental health recovered,
You could see it all over my face.
One night of restless waking,
And all progress comes undone.
Fatigue has stirred an aching,
Into familiar habits I’ll succumb.
Negotiating tasks away,
I bargain with my mind.
“It’s only one day,”
Tomorrow I’ll feel more inclined.
Throwing caution to the wind,
I skip that Wednesday class.
Ignore the feeling I’ve sinned,
And pretend this moment will pass.
I tell myself a tale,
One where I’m tired and deserving,
This isn’t really a fail,
My energy needs conserving.
I snooze my phone reminders,
And send excuses to my peers.
I pretend this choice is kinder,
And submit to all my fears.
As I walked home from the bar, I felt a mix of shame and bewilderment. I am not a competitive woman. I don’t like to cause a fuss. Typically, I will be the last person to outwardly challenge a person on something that they strongly believe, especially if that fact is trivial. But that night, I wish I had stood up for what I believed.
I had been having a blast, cracking jokes and chatting with my new friends. …
The morning dragged on, leaving me weary.
Time ticked by, but my body moved slowly.
Self-hatred spread, from my head to my toes,
I found some relief sinking into my sorrows.
A thought crossed my mind and took hold of my legs,
I got up and shuffled away from the bed.
What if I tried to go for a walk?
Just a minute or two, or around the block?
I slipped my feet into my shoes,
Opened the door and the sky was blue.
Moving slow, I slunk down the street,
A zombie awoken from a slumber so deep.
The sun hit my face and I felt people…