Not Lazy, Incompetent, or Stupid
Parenting: To be, or not to be (6)
Just suffering from some mental health issues. Totally curable.
As parents, do you often brush-off thoughts that are unpleasant even to imagine happening to your child? And, in the process, close your eyes to the great dangers that are possibly engulfing your children? Let me tell you, children’s mental health problems are real. It is common and treatable. And treatable meaning, with the help of experts, your timely attention, and providing them a space to explore and live; not by shouting, teasing, or pouring in love with an extra doughnut or biriyani.
Reports suggest that one in five children has a diagnosable mental health problem, yet only one-third of them gets accepted and treated. Untreated cases can disorganise children’s functioning and increases the risk of school failure, social injustices, and even suicide. No, we do not want any of that.
It’s always you who gets to notice first if your child has problems with emotions or behaviour. Thus, it is necessary to be informed about the common scenarios happening around you to make observations with inputs from teachers and other caregivers to determine whether you need to seek help for your child. Let me confirm, it’s totally normal.
Let’s Observe
Often, with a little observation and an open conversation, you may identify if anything is bothering your child. Also, in the name of observing, be mindful not to intrude their private or social life. This act in itself can intimidate them, a feeling of insecurity and being scrutinised. However, you may check for these signs in your children, a combination of these may indicate the need for professional help.
- Decline in academic performance
- Low grades despite strong efforts
- Constant worry or anxiety
- Repeated refusal to attend classes
- Refusal to take part in regular activities
- Hyperactivity or fidgeting
- Persistent nightmares
- Persistent disobedience or aggression
- Frequent temper tantrums
- Depression, sadness or irritability
- Disruptive behaviour problems
- Sleep disorders
- Substance use disorders
- Suicidal symptoms
Early identification, diagnosis, and treatment of mental health illness can save you and your child from a lot of adverse moments, agony, and an enormous amount of time. It will also help children reach their full potential without having to deal with a troubled and hostile childhood.
What exactly is the cause?
Some of the common causes of mental trauma in children are instances of child abuse, some sort of accident, violence in the household, frightening medical procedures, bullying and more. I have accounts from my relatives and friends about how they were on the brim of breaking down, and some who did fall into deep depths but was lucky to survive. So, there’s no absolute set of causes or symptoms that we can rely on to identify disturbances in children.
Also, there are some common life events called adverse childhood experiences (ACES) that contribute to a child’s risk of mental health problems. These include long separations from a parent, living with a parent with mental health or substance use problems, and exposure to injustices such as casteism, racism, etc.
This proves that anything and everything can cause a tremor in a child’s mental wellbeing that may or may not form the basis of their psychological status years down the lane.
How can you drive the change? In general, and in need
Stronger the Bond, Weaker the Tensions
A safe, happy environment and strong social connectedness beyond parents ensure a balanced mental health foundation for children. With limited physical interactions during the time of pandemic and beyond, spending quality time online via video chats and text messaging with relatives and friends can help, even young children. Practice it as a routine and watch them grow fonder.
Talk, talk, talk
It is natural for kids to be angry, hyperactive, and annoyed right now for not being able to go outside, meet and play with friends, or go for a long walk or cycling without the fear of being pulled up. Give them a chance to talk about their feelings, and you can help them out by saying things like “I understand how it feels to be inside all the time” or “I know you’re annoyed you can’t be with your friends.” These can help your children connect to their feelings and be vocal about it. Start small, encourage them to organise emotions, like taking deep breaths or meditation. You can sit with them and help them sort it out. Might as well work wonders for you too!
Take care, you!
Focus on your wellbeing because children do better when their parents are better. It’s not just you who benefits when you take care of your stress reactions, but everyone around you; your children especially. Staying connected to your social supports, exercising, reading, meditating, or praying can relieve you from the hassles of your work and life. If you or your partner have uncontrollable stress issues or mental health symptoms, it is better to connect with a mental health provider or reach out for help. Also keep your children at a safe bay from your tantrums.
Be Active
A healthy, active body is halfway through for a happy, stable mind. Every human, especially children, need to move around, get their hands dirty, get wounded, break bones, make friends, and stay closer to nature throughout their childhood to foster a healthy body and mind. Encourage more active sports and physical games and limit screen time. It’s these little extra efforts that mount up to form a persistent habit.
Reach Out
Okay, let’s get this right. Seeking professional help if your children have intense and stubborn emotions or behaviours or don’t respond to the usual interventions is absolutely alright. Do not dismiss them as silly outbursts; drain your energy shouting or hurting them physically. Take a deep breath and find help.
Most children with mental health problems get no treatment at all because parents like you cannot merely accept the fact that they need help, not a pack of chocolate, a new toy, or their favourite snack one more time. As parents, you are the best advocates to analyse your child’s symptoms and address it at the right time.
For expert advises on parenting kids with mental health troubles, visit: https://www.mhanational.org/parenting
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-Read Part 1 — Thoughts into Parenting
-Read Part 2 — Puberty & Sexual knowledge
-Read Part 3 — Puberty & Masturbation
-Read Part 4 — Adolescence & Sexting
-Read Part 5 — Sex Education Guide
