Thank you for that.
Daan Spijer

You have no idea how much I love that statement. It’s particularly easy in this day and age to cast dispersion or evade when deep and/or face-to-face discussion or understanding is obstructed by both culture and a digital era. I guess I believe in forever — in people.

Trauma is particularly acute an example. Depression as well. People in those states, they aren’t clear minded. Their world is consumed. And it should illuminate that we all make decisions and take actions that are contextual — and probably worth some gentle consideration. There are only a few cases where I think people are unforgivable — or even unable to be understood. Those are generally criminal or selfish. But, my dad said this wonderful thing — that there is a difference between behavior and character. The former can be changed. But it really depends on the latter.

For example, my dad is one of the sweetest, gentlest, loving people I have ever known. He prides himself on not allowing anger or hatred to displace other feelings. But, late in his life as he faced stress and health issues, he found himself suddenly angry. It was all PTSD from the war. And he had no idea those issues were still there. It wasn’t in his character to be angry, but a trigger occurred and he just found himself unable to mentally tolerate selfish, unjust, or otherwise hurtful things or people. He just wanted everyone to be good to each other — and the trigger was that he had seen enough ugliness in life, enough violence, and he was mad that in the years left anything would be wasted on petty emotions or hurtful acts. I think, even though he may have been a pill, he was beautiful even in that negative image. You just have to understand the logic inside trauma or depression.

It’s often beautiful people who hurt the most when things go sideways. In my experience. They’re worth it.

Like what you read? Give Cristina Loughrey a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.