When you Have to be Your Own Parent

Do you think our parents ever stop to think about their actions?

I used to see my friends in my school days, such amazing bonds with their parents. I still see my friends, their parents putting them first.

I found out, the father I loved so dearly, who passed away when I was 10, was actually not even my father. I am a donor child.

If that wasn’t bad enough, I came to find out my mother was cheating on my amazing father with my current stepdad, whom I despise.

Did she ever ask me how I felt?

Never.

Complaints on a daily. It get’s toxic you know? hearing someone complain everyday is stressful.

But it’s always my fault.

I am the only person who gives her money. No one else. But she says I don’t help her and that I am a bad person.

Am I ?

I grew up thinking I was bad.

But it turns out, I have a big heart! An ESFJ on the MBTI test.

Isn’t that supposed to be a blessing?

Apparently not. Apparently I am bad.

I write to release.

I write to share.

I have sorrow in my heart, but so much love to give. I don’t know where to be.

My friends are amazing. But sometimes I crave a PARENT. I can’t parent myself forever.

It’s a scary world out there.