Quarter life crisis .. or is it?

Last year, I saw this tweet and decided to reply to it with a series of tweets:

Apparently this is called a “quarter-life crisis” and is now a thing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis.

I replied with a series of tweets which I am putting into this blog (and possibly annotate a bit more over time). Note that these views are from my own life experiences and is not meant to be a formula for anyone. If the cap fits, put it on. Else move on.

The summary of my response is: If you are in your 20s, you have a long way to go, life is a marathon and you’re just getting started. You’ve not missed anything yet and there’s no need to pressure yourself so much now.

Here are my tweets:

1. When I was 23, I was still a CS grad student at Purdue. I was earning enough money to live but that was it. I NEVER thought about investing or buying property or even a career at that age.
2. I was (and still am) passionate about Computer Science and all I did was focus on being a student. I didn’t worry about having money or when I’d be able to buy “property” or “invest”.
   I focused on what I was doing and did it well.
3. You’re 23. You have at least another 57 years and probably at least 77 years if you take care of yourself. You’ve been an adult for JUST 5 years.
   What’s the rush to own property and to invest??
4. My formula for life is simple: Until 18/19 you’re a “child”.
   Next 3–5 years you study something and do it well. Goal is to find your passion, even if you don’t do it well. You might spend most of your 20s doing that.. but so what, you got plenty of years to go!
5. Once you know something that you care about, take the next 10 years to become really good at it. Yes, it does take 10 years to become an expert at something. Now you’re 35–40.
   Next 10 years are for you to work hard to “get to the top”.
6. That may be via the quick way (by starting a company .. which is what I did!) or by working a “corporate” hierarchy (I did that when I was building expertise). Now you’re 50.
   Now you ride the wave .. for however long as *you* want. When you’re “done” get off .. and “retire”.
7. I personally, at 55, intend to change gears (from running WSO2) at some point but have no current plans to “retire” — I have 100 things on my to-do list.
8. Note that I never talked about buying property or investing so far in this reply. Focus on something that YOU have with you no matter what.
9. We bought a house (or rather, signed up to a big mortgage) after I finished my PhD and became a postdoc. In fact I owned only the home I lived in until very recently when I bought some land (as a future place to live).
10. I’m not an investor (I own a small piece of WSO2 — that’s enough for me) or into property ownership. YMMV.
    It’s about what makes you happy.
11. Personally, I gain no happiness by “owning” anything. In fact owning is a PITA — you have to take care of it when you own something. Again, YMMV.
12. So my advice is to focus on things that energize you, things that make you want to get up in the morning and want to fight to get it done. Owning things and investing will come along the way and they will come without stress.
    Certainly without nightmares.
13. One more thing: When I was in my 20s I volunteered for various things (like setting up and running email to Sri Lanka) but didn’t feel the burden of the future of the world on my shoulders.
14. Today’s youth seem to WANT to take that burden much more — probably because of information overload from social media.
    If you want to take that on, that’s great, but it must not be at personal harm to you.
15. Life is a marathon, not a sprint — you will have time to work on it later.
16. Life is fun if you don’t worry about things you can’t control or impact. You only get one run at life (or only one we remember, depending on what you believe) — might as well live it to the fullest and enjoy the ride.
    Good luck!
    (Done; phew.)

Let me add one last thought that uses a Tim Urban (WaitButWhy guy) picture:

What this illustrates is that whether you think you’re experiencing a quarter life crisis or a mid life crisis, there are still sooooo many ways your life can go.

It is only too late if YOU decide it is. So, don’t.