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You have erred in a few ways:

First, your premise is flawed.

You are confounding judging others with the concept of perception.

I can perceive that the woman on the screen is not my grandmother. I make no judgement regarding her. I formed no opinions of her simply by viewing her picture.

Merriam-Webster defines the verb “judge” as:

1: to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises
2: to form an estimate or evaluation of trying to judge the amount of time required;especially : to form a negative opinion about
3: to hold as an opinion : guessthink
4: to sit in judgment on : try
5: to determine or pronounce after inquiry and deliberation
6: govern, rule — used of a Hebrew tribal leader

Second, several of your examples are intentionally provocative.

I say intentionally because, as you state:

Prime examples of this are around the sensitive topics of race, age, gender, and orientation.
As a white heterosexual male it seems society increasingly wants me to walk around with my head up my butt.

Publishing an apologetic piece on judging others is, in the best of times, a sketchy proposition. These, of course, are not the best of times.

Hate crimes are rising at an alarming rate.

Government-sanctioned racism, homophobia and transphobia is trending sharply upwards.

As a white, heterosexual male, you possess the privilege and the power. You are the oppressor, and this reads as an exposition on why your internal bias and prejudice towards “not-normals” is OK, natural even.

To quote Hannah Gadsby, from her Netflix special “Nanette”:

“This tension, it’s yours. I am not helping you any more,” she says, “You need to learn what this feels like, because this tension is what not-normals carry inside of them all the time. Because it is dangerous to be different. To the men in the room, I speak to you now, especially the straight white men: pull your fucking socks up.”

Third, this piece is thoughtless and careless.

Including an example of “hooded teenagers” is not at all subtle and it is irresponsible. There’s simply too much irrational fear of people of color in this world — especially in your country of origin — the US. They are singled-out, harassed, arrested, and murdered simply for the color of their skin.

This is not a case of people being too sensitive.

Look up these names. I included links, I hope you will click on them. You desperately need to hear their stories. All people of color, most of them are teens:

Lolade Siyonbola
Rashon Nelson and Donte Robinson
Chikesia Clemons
Myneca Ojo
Thomas Gray
Mekhi Lee, Eric Rogers and Dirone Taylor
Darren Martin
Donisha Prendergast, Kelly Fyffe-Marshall, and Komi-Oluwa Olafimihan
Tatyana Rhodes

Perhaps those examples aren’t very powerful because the victims survived to walk away. The folks below did not, and don’t think this is a comprehensive list by any stretch. Look them up, there are lists with over 700 more examples, all recent.

Trayvon Martin
Eric Garner
Michael Brown
Tamir Rice
Christian Taylor
Alton B. Sterling
Philando Castile
John Crawford

I hope you are unsettled by the fact that some of these names were teenagers wearing hooded sweatshirts at the time of their deaths.


As a transgender woman, gender non-comformists are very near and dear to my heart. That you chose someone who lives in the margins as one of your examples and pulled their image from The Chive shows that you have extremely poor taste.

People in the LGBTQ+ community face struggles that you, as a cisgender heterosexual white male would know nothing about. When these factors intersect with other circumstances, such as race, as in the case of a gay or transgender person of color, their struggles increase exponentially.

Here’s some more names for you to mull over:

Christa Leigh Steele-Knudslien
Viccky Gutierrez
Tonya Harvey
Celine Walker
Phylicia Mitchell
Zakaria Fry
Amia Tyrae Berryman
Sasha Wall
Karla Patricia Flores-Pavón
Nino Fortson
Gigi Pierce
Antash’a English
Cathalina Christina James
Keisha Wells
Sasha Garden
Diamond Stephens

All dead.

You want to normalize the behavior of judging others for being different. You want to humiliate them for their differences. You want to tell them they should be OK with this level of oppression.

As a white heterosexual male it seems society increasingly wants me to walk around with my head up my butt.

From my perspective, here in the margins of society, I quite want the opposite.

You are already walking around with your head up your butt. Then you took the time to tell others why that should be OK.

I want you to extract your head from your butt and look take a good look around!

I want you to be a responsible human being.

Own your damn privilege.

Chad Grills, Stephanie Postles, Lacey Peace — please read my response to Mr. Galli’s article. It deserves your attention.