My 8 Biggest Fears As A Parent

Its easy to be an overwhelmed parent in 2016. In a metrics-focused world, its expected that we measure our parenting worth based on output. We are constantly trying to one-up our parents (as if. They mock us even as we download yet another app. You know that right?)

I generally think I do ok as a parent. Yes, that depends. Between being a inconsistent Gemini, a product of Indian-style parenting and my own incessant need to not follow norms, it’s a wonder I get anything done. Which means when I have a week go by without forgetting something, without having a kid hate on me or without someone judging me, I vainly consider myself a success. Its all bound to come crashing down soon, said a wise pal over the third glass of wine. So it remains to be seen if I will think the same in a few years.

But..being human, I have my fears. More so fears in parenting because we are responsible for human beings here. Like, real, live actual human beings unable to process ‘no’, concept of sleep time and that all good things usually come to an end.

  1. I fear that my kid will have the same insecurities as I did.
  2. I fear that in my quest to teach my girls to be strong, I will forget to teach my boy to be strong (and fair).
  3. I fear I will cave in, at some point, to peer pressure.
  4. I fear that my tiger mom genes will rear its head right when my almost free-range parenting style has a little stumble.
  5. I fear my almost free-range parenting style will take crazy control when my tiger mom genes have a little stumble.
  6. I fear I will utter the ridiculous words “It’s not like when you used to parent” to anyone who is older, wiser and has had more experience raising kids.
  7. I fear I will let go of my 70s Indian middle-class values built on frugality, community and simplicity.
  8. I fear I will forget that no matter what we do, there will always be a ‘what did we do wrong?’ moment in every parent’s life. Even the best parents.

But most days, I chug along, setting little goals of hugs and chats & car singing sessions, hoping that it will work for today.


I am the co-founder of xyza: news for kids. Curious? Sign up at I am also a reluctant lover of minivans and an unabashed lover of libraries, podcasts and San Francisco.