Manipulating relationships: take them off your hands. pt 1
The situation, to be honest, is very serious. Here’s a quick aid course that might be useful to you.
This came from my previous relationships. I was being manipulated throughout years. And it took years for me to realize that I have to live my own life, at least I have to try. This is the face and story of my experience.
If you see that communication takes on the character of the consumer, your relations have stalled or they are daily on loop, and you are not ok about having your blood drank of you and there’s no end… Automatic behavior — skilled behavior — is subconscious, controlled by the behavioral side. But to go through this shit you should have your mind shifted a little. Well, as me, you may try following things:
- do nothing. It’s the first best option. I mean ignore this man as long as it’s possible. If it’s not, then
- try distancing yourself from these relations. If there’s no certainty in these relationships, well, it’s you who have to set them to specific. But then again, if there’s no possibility for you to do it, you should
- talk seriously. As for me, I tried. For sure. That can not work properly with that kind of people even for years. What else, well,
- try to avoid it.
People try to use you for their own comfort and there are so much ways to make you do things for them to show you deserve their love, their credibility and so on. But than we won’t see that play itself out with empathy and respect. And you realize it too late, when you start to be given too little oxygen in your relations. And you do not see the way out of circumstances because everybody was accustomed to perceiving you the way you are for last decade e.g. As for me, I was in really good relationships, but they were not good for me, I realized it after several years and tried to make something good of me to make them better instead of insisting on taking a pause to think about.
So what should I say. It won’t stop while you allow it to go on.
Stop being comfortable. In every way create situations showing you from the bad side, as a completely unbearable person. It can lasts for years. But in that case you can create the best circumstances so a person refuse to communicate with you and consequently manipulate you.
Wait no actions. Be the first to make them. Don’t give a f*ck about others evaluating them, because all of your actions at that period are not really yours. You make them only to free yourself. You have to start being worse to get the things of yours better.
Free yourself from long expectations of what you want. Stop trying to clarify the situation. Don’t expect. Make a more complicated one. Destroy yourself in manipulator’s eyes. This is the only way to get free of a psychological prison. Remember what drives a manipulating creature. It’s your constant presence and the comfort of it, your openness, immovables, your chronic inability to realize that you play somebody’s game, — not yours.
The nearest option to start your own life is to destroy your name in others eyes. You should do everything that singe your reputation in the manipulators’ eyes. Otherwise, I promise, it will last forever.