My Bitcoin-Trading Boyfriend Thinks Moving in Together Is Too Risky

Better to play it safe, he says

Learning to accept — and even embrace — a romantic partner’s shortcomings is something that all couples go through. I still experience this even after three years with my boyfriend Bryan, a full-time cryptocurrency trader.

For example, I got mad at Bryan for forgetting my birthday this year, but I just have to accept that he’s not a detail-oriented guy, even though he can carefully type a 64-digit, case sensitive private key into his Bitcoin wallet from memory.

I want to take our relationship to the next level, but Bryan, who has poured tens of thousands of dollars into speculative crypto assets, pointed out that moving in together is risky. He has a point — I mean, what if we break up? It’d be so awkward while we had to find new apartments.

I’d like him to come up with dates we can look forward to, but Bryan always points out that he’s not much of a planner. Although he’s leading an international team of 15 researchers studying distributed blockchain shipping logistics, Valentine’s Day was only two weeks ago, so he’s still got time.

And hey, no one is perfect — especially not me! Bryan puts up with a lot of my nonsense. For example, sometimes I get jealous, like when he bailed last-minute on a double date with my best friend to meet up with a 57-year-old Ethereum guru he found on Reddit. Bryan said it was totally worth it, because he got early access to a new breed of CryptoKitties.

I recently asked Bryan if he thought I was “the one.” He told me he just isn’t ready to talk about the future, and then called his financial advisor to start planning his early retirement.