8 Ways to Deal with an Unreasonable Co-Parent

You are not the first person to find yourself attempting to raise strong, confident, loving children with someone you feel is crazy. Months or years of unmet expectations, broken promises, aggressive language, and an unwillingness to compromise has worn you down. You’ve probably tried everything you can think of to make it better, but you continue to find yourself hitting a brick wall. Worst of all, you know you have no choice but to keep trying since this difficult person is your partner in the most important job of your life.

I’ve noticed some patterns in high-conflict co-parenting. Here are 8 common traps that co-parents get stuck in and some tools for getting through them.

1. THE BLAME GAME

When playing the Blame Game, the other parent attributes everything bad on you. The child’s rash or poor grades, the hostile texts, possibly even the breakdown of the relationship. Your former partner is still triggered by your existence and likely is still holding onto anger from the relationship. They haven’t yet recognized that it takes two people to love — and two people to fight — and therefore they bear some responsibility for the current state of affairs.

Tools: Don’t argue. Arguing keeps you engaged in their drama, which is satisfying to the person stuck in the old drama, but…