What Post Malone Taught Me About Reckless Love

Sara Marie
Nov 3 · 4 min read

This year for Halloween, I was Post Malone. Just like 3 other girls that I saw at a Halloween party, we drew on our faces, braided our hair back, wore baggy clothes, and presented ourselves as the infamous rapper. My friends were shocked; “Sara, you’re nothing like Post Malone.” And I would agree. I cry when getting my eyebrows waxed much less getting my face tattooed, I don’t have cool facial hair and physically don’t have the ability to grow it, and I am one of the worst rappers I know. But, I call myself a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG Post Malone fan! And here’s why:

I had serious self-confidence issues growing up. I hated looking in a mirror because my hair was too straight, I wasn’t as tall as my friends, I wasn’t thin enough to fit in a size 00, and my laugh sounded like a dying whale (and still does). For a long time, I thought I was unlovable. Some people in my life had convinced me that love was conditional. Now don’t get me wrong, the people in my life loved me. But, because of our imperfections, love can be conditional. I was convinced that the minute I screwed up or said something I didn’t mean, that person immediately stopped loving me. They stopped feeling love toward me and instead had turned cold as ice. And, this idea was destructive.

Flash forward to my Confirmation retreat when I was 14. The person who walked into that YMCA camp hated the person she was. Yet, at this very retreat, I truly encountered Christ for the first time. I realized the perfection and the unconditionality of God. He LOVED me. Even in the moments where I was angry at him for all of my imperfections and broken relationships, He loved me unconditionally. And not just the feeling of love. Love is an act of the will. God wills my greatest good. He sent His only son to die over 2,000 years ago and He would have done it all over again just for me. That, my friends, is unconditional love in its purest and most beautiful form. And, at 14 years old, God revealed this love to me in such a powerful way. Of course, I still struggle with insecurity and doubt as we all do. But, that God-sized hole I have in my heart is continually being filled with the One who loves me the most.

I am a huge Post Malone fan because we are more similar than I initially thought. Most of his songs talk about a broken heart. One of my personal favorites, “I Fall Apart” talks about how his girlfriend left him with nothing. He has fallen apart to his core without her being with him. Another favorite is Die For Me. Post Malone, Halsey, and Future sing about how their relationships are falling apart and they are just a cycle of abuse. One day they are in love and everything is great and the next day they find out the person they love is lying to them and that they wouldn’t even die for them. When I listen to these songs, I automatically think of the insecurity I let rule my life for so long. The doubt in God and my doubt in my friends/family’s ability to love me just left me with that God-sized hole. And, Post Malone, the guy who seems to have fame, fortune, and girls falling over him has that too. He has that broken heart, those broken relationships of manipulation and abuse, and a hole left in him by the imperfection the world is filled with.

So, Post Malone (if you ever read this), I see you. Thank you for being honest and vulnerable with all of us. I see your pain and your heartbreak. You have made me realize I am not alone in my suffering. But, God wants you. There is a reckless, unconditional, and incredible kind of love waiting for you. This Love doesn’t ask for you to give more than you can and this Love is free, all you have to do is accept it and truly believe it. You may not realize it, but God’s love is the love you were made for. You were made for more than the mediocrity and the conditional love this world offers you. Post Malone, you were made for More. You were made for greatness. You were made by love, for love.

In Christ’s reckless love,

Sara

    Sara Marie

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