People ask me “Why Motherhood?”
I have a very long answer for the same, my pregnancy was cakewalk some confusions here and there and for that I used to search those questions on Internet in 2018, all I would get would be the results of moms in the western countries, though our bodies are similar, the hospital experiences, the scan processes are very different.
Indian mothers experiences are always not expressed out in the public forums, when I turned to mother and mother-in-law for advise, they had totally forgotten about the journey which has happened to them 27 to 30 years back and that’s normal. The baby and mother things that we get in the market are totally new which we Indians hasn’t have access to 30 years back.
In March 2019, I was told after the scan that the fluid levels are so low that they would have to do a c-section earlier then the stated due date, c-section in itself and coping with that c-section in the hospital is a whole story altogether which I would cover separately, have elaborated those in my book for the expecting moms to get an idea about. Making informed decisions need information, if I have had the right information I would have planned things better.
After my daughter was born, everything was good until 11days post which there were hysterical cries whenever she was trying to poop, not kidding we went to every doctor possible, the best gastroentrologist, did ultrasounds, and what NOT? nothing, they were all saying, once the digestive system develops all will be good, we can wait for 30 days of age, it was 30th day, nothing changed, I would literally stand there watching the hysterical cry once she poops and finishes, the cry would be settled, this didn’t change after 90 days, even after 6months.
But, solids slowly changed the intensity a bit, it didn’t all go away even after she was 1year of age. Imagine, everyone running and coming to the baby feel shattered at the same time totally helpless because nothing can be done.
The doctor’s exact words were,” I can sympathise with you but, nothing can be done about this.” I had to deal with the emotional trauma, and not to forget dealing with the family members words, drama and after she was 8months I restricted some foods basis on the way her stomach is reacting to certain foods, then standing by the family members as a security to stop them from feeding the foods that are restricted.
Firstly, dealing with your bosy, your routine, your sleep deprivation, followed by the trauma that’s being caused because none in the family is understanding what you are going through, and blaming you for all the reasons possible. Thirdly the helplessness in not knowing what your baby is going through and how can you stand there without helping.
Normally the changes in the routine itself causes post partum depression in a new mother, when she doesn’t feel supported, then what would be plight of the mothers with unique issues.
Whenever there were stereotypical issues that a woman would have to overcome, I’ll be there giving them the possible options, from my childhood.
Once I became a mother, the innerself was aching to give a support for new mothers who are always lost inbetween the traditional methods and modern solutions.
Now, as a mom transition coach I have written down everything possibly a new mother would need in the form of a book. And I’m always available for the mom-to-be’s and new moms.
I got pregnant the second time during 2020 and gave birth to a baby boy in 2021, but in the 8 month of my pregnancy, I contracted the corona virus, in the evening itself, I got fever and coughs even diarrhea, slowly I couldn’t move my legs, was not able to sit in the closed spaces including bathrooms.
Couldn’t eat anything, for the sake of my baby I had two sips of coffee or soup sometimes and that was all. My husband gave up on me and was ready to admit me in the hospital as it was difficult to keep me at home in this situation, my dad and my husband carried me down to the ground floor till the main door to make me sit in the car.
I was skeptical to leave my daughter and go get admitted in the hospital but, I would have to go if I have to save my baby in the womb.
I got admitted for 5 days in a hospital after going to every hospital searching for getting a bed. I was the only pregnant covid patient in the hospital, I was monitored by the gynaecologist and all other specialists of the hospital.
By God’s grace, everything went well, and again was admitted after a month to the hospital for giving birth, all is well that ends well.