Finding yourself abroad: The expat identity crisis and how to overcome it
Have you ever felt like you’re caught between two worlds? That’s exactly how many expats feel when they move to a new country. The excitement of exploring new cultures and opportunities often comes hand in hand with a profound sense of identity loss. Let’s dive into this and explore how it impacts expats on a personal level.
Who am I outside of my home culture?
Our life experiences impact our identity, so our self-image and who we are is constantly shifting. For expats, this shift can be even more dramatic because we suddenly find ourselves in a new, unfamiliar place, having left behind our social circles, job and hometown — things that used to be part of our daily life and we defined ourselves by.
Perhaps the new culture we find ourselves in is very different from our native one: maybe your enthusiasm and openness is not met with the same attitude in countries where people keep more to themselves and express themselves more subtly. So you act normally but the environment is not responding as you would expect — there is a disconnect.
Now you might feel like the things that make you “you” are not so appreciated or useful in the new culture. You may start to feel like you are losing parts of yourself and ask yourself questions like: Who am I? What is important to me? This is the reality for many expats, and scientific research helps us understand why this happens.
Researchers on the identity dilemma
Studies by Bas-Sarmiento and colleagues (2017) reveal that expats often experience a sense of disconnect from their cultural roots, language, and personal values. You feel like you don’t quite belong anywhere, but you desperately want to. This identity confusion can create feelings of isolation, confusion, and a fragmented sense of self.
One of the biggest challenges expats face is navigating multiple cultural identities. Imagine juggling the traditions of your homeland with the customs of your new country — it’s like walking a tightrope with no safety net. This phenomenon, known as “bicultural identity conflict,” can leave expats feeling torn between two worlds (Chen et al., 2014).
The expatriate identity crisis doesn’t just impact your sense of self — it can take a toll on your mental health too. Have you noticed feeling more sad, more on edge or lonelier than usual? This is common — expats experiencing identity loss may be more vulnerable to depression, anxiety, and feelings of loneliness (Bas-Sarmiento et al., 2017).
Overcoming identity crisis
Start with acceptance
So, how can expats navigate this turbulent sea of identity loss and find their way back to shore? It starts with acknowledging and embracing the complexity of your identity. Your cultural heritage is a part of who you are, but so is your experience in your new home. By honoring both, you can begin to piece together a new sense of self (Chen et al., 2014). Give yourself some time, you have already made the most difficult step and things will fall into place at the right time.
Rely on your social network
Seeking support from fellow expats and immigrant communities can also provide a lifeline during times of uncertainty. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can offer validation, empathy, and practical strategies for coping with identity loss (Bas-Sarmiento et al., 2017).
At the same time, connecting with natives of your host county can create feelings of acceptance and belonging in you. It can help you start to feel of the country, and not just in the country (Boekestijn, 1988).
Stay connected to your native culture
Additionally, engaging in activities that celebrate your cultural heritage — whether it’s cooking traditional dishes, attending cultural events, or learning traditional crafts — can help you reconnect with your roots and cultivate a sense of pride in your identity (Chen et al., 2014).
You don’t have to abandon your native identity and culture in order to create a new one — you can have both! This is actually the most helpful strategy to the immigrant’s dilemma. Talk to people about life in your native country and find ways to bring these parts of yourself into your new life. Show people all the best qualities of yourself and stay connected to what really matters to you, while being mindful of new cultural and societal customs.
A tough but well-worth-it journey
The expatriate identity crisis is a profound challenge that many expats face. But by embracing the complexity of your identity, seeking support from others, and engaging in activities that celebrate your cultural heritage, you can navigate this journey of self-discovery with resilience and grace.
This is not a quick process; it can take time and energy, but the results are fulfilling. Research shows that expats with a coherent personal identity are more optimistic and have higher self-esteem, compared to those with a confused identity (Schwartz et al., 2014). So know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Use these questions to guide you in connecting with your identity: What are the qualities that make me “me”? How did they change or stay the same during my journey? What are my values? What are my new goals in life?
And remember, you’re not alone — we’re all in this together. Expathy therapists are always just one click away and ready to support your on your journey. It might help to talk to a licensed therapist who shares your culture and native language about your struggles integrating the new you into the old you. We are always here to help at Expathy.org!
References:
Bas-Sarmiento, P., Saucedo‐Moreno, M., Fernández-Gutiérrez, M., & Poza-Méndez, M. (2017). Mental Health in Immigrants Versus Native Population: A Systematic Review of the Literature. Archives of Psychiatric Nursing, 31, 111–121. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.apnu.2016.07.014
Boekestijn, C. (1988). Intercultural migration and the development of personal identity: The dilemma between identity maintenance and cultural adaptation. International journal of intercultural relations, 12(2), 83–105. https://doi.org/10.1016/0147-1767(88)90042-9
Chen, C. P., Lee, S. Y., & Stevenson, H. W. (2014). Response to Bicultural Identity Conflict and Adjustment among Intra‐ and Intercultural Migrants. International Journal of Psychology, 49(2), 148–157.
Schwartz, S., Unger, J., Meca, A., Lorenzo-Blanco, E., Baezconde-Garbanati, L., Cano, M., Piña-Watson, B., Szapocznik, J., Zamboanga, B., Córdova, D., Romero, A., Lee, T., Soto, D., Villamar, J., Lizzi, K., Rosiers, S., & Pattarroyo, M. (2016). Personal Identity Development in Hispanic Immigrant Adolescents: Links with Positive Psychosocial Functioning, Depressive Symptoms, and Externalizing Problems. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 46, 898–913. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-016-0615-y.
