Cut Down the Oscars

After recovering from a late night live tweeting bender, I’m here to offer my thoughts about the Oscars ceremony.

My conclusion: the Oscars can easily be trimmed down to a half-hour show — an hour if you really want to stretch it.

At the end of the day, the only news that is reported are the awards for the Big Five — Best Picture, Leading Actor, Leading Actress, Supporting Actor and Supporting Actress. Maybe you could throw in a few extras, like Best Animated Film, but don’t go too crazy.

That’s all that’s needed to have water cooler conversation the next day. Does anyone really remember that the win for Bear Story was the first for Chile? Probably in Chile, but definitely not here. All everyone is really talking about is DiCaprio’s win. They might mutter about how they haven’t seen Spotlight yet.

Let’s face it. They keep the Big Five at the end for a reason. It’s all anybody really cares about and it keeps you watching through all the awards you’re bound to forget about twenty minutes later.

It’s not that these very talented artists don’t deserve to be credited or don’t deserve to have their work appreciated. If anything, they are probably more talented than their Big Five counterparts. It’s just that Hollywood is the most self-congratulatory industry on the planet. There’s an awards show for everything. Why do we, as just average people, have to have our Sunday nights interrupted by not one or two, but multiple award shows for the same movies?

So, my proposal: cut down the show to half an hour. Announce the Big Five. The public will have their water cooler conversation and Hollywood will have its glitz and glamour. Win-Win. As for the other artists, we need to start celebrating them year round, not just in an overblown ceremony that people will forget about minutes later.

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