Sarah Elizabeth
Sep 5, 2018 · 2 min read

While I agree with the majority of this piece, I can’t help but question your last couple of points (self-esteem being too high and/or being too independent). Being judgemental and writing people off quickly is, in my opinion, a problem related to a fear of vulnerability, not a problem of “too much” self-esteem. Honestly, I believe that, while there is line between confidence and cockiness, everyone should have a super high self-esteem. If you don’t believe in yourself, it’s difficult to expect others to do so. When it crosses the line into being judgemental, it signals insecurity, and even low self-esteem, instead of high self-esteem. As for independence, I strongly believe independence is extremely important in a relationship. In my opinion, a relationship is when two independent, mature people choose to take on life together. That doesn’t mean they give up their diet, their way of living, themselves, etc. It means they continue to choose the other person as a life partner, confidante, friend, lover, etc. If you find yourself giving up some aspect of yourself for a relationship, in my opinion, it’s not going to last because you will eventually come to resent your partner for making you give up that part of yourself (been there, done that). Sure, there will be compromises, but they are choices you make. For example, if you are a vegetarian and your partner eats exclusively meat, you don’t need to give up your vegetarian diet, nor does your partner need to give up meat. If you enjoy working out 6 days a week and your partner is the “horizontal running” type, you don’t need to give up the gym to make them feel better, as they don’t need to start doing CrossFit for you. If you are a kind person, and your partner is not, you don’t need to start being anyone else but yourself. A relationship is about balance and finding someone who chooses you for who you are. Anyone that asks you to change, in my opinion, is not the right one for you. And, before someone says this is a comment from a lonely, single girl, I am not single. I have a very healthy relationship in which my partner and I value each other for who we are — no ifs, ands, or buts. So, while the majority of this piece is fabulous, I want to give a shout out to all my high self-esteemed, independent people who may or may not be single. Don’t change.

Sarah Elizabeth

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