Tiffany and I are halfway through our workshop about goal-setting, nattering along at full-speed, when I see the question pop up in the chat box.
“All of this is super helpful! But what if I don’t really know how to choose a goal? How do I even figure out where to start?”
That’s the rub, isn’t it? All the habit-making, goal-achieving advice in the world won’t help if you, uh, can’t figure out what goal to go after.
And it certainly won’t help if you choose a goal you’re bored with or ambivalent about. I don’t want that for you!
3 questions that will help you choose a goal you’re excited about + will actually stick with
Why are you trying to achieve this goal? Like, really.
Why are you trying to make six figures? Why are you trying to give up coffee? Why are you trying to fit into size six jeans?
If you’re trying to make more money so you can pay off debt or buy a house, awesome! But if you’re trying to break the six-figure ceiling because all your professional peers have?
Well, you’re going to have a hard time maintaining much momentum or excitement when your true motivation is “keeping up with the Joneses.”
If you’re trying to give up coffee because it upsets your stomach and ruins your sleep, it’ll be (relatively) easy for your change your caffeine habit.
If you’re giving it up because your super healthy BFF gave it up, it’ll be hard to get excited about green tea every morning.
I know it’s easy to arbitrarily choose a goal that seems healthy or impressive or aspirational. Goals are not one-size-fits all. One person’s fun, achievable goal is another person’s slog through the valley of suck.
Many of us pursue certain goals because we “should.” We should get serious about our careers. We should save for a house. We should be less obsessed with our phones.
Those are all great goals! I will not talk you out of any of them!
But what if — amongst all those should-y ambitions — you tucked in some goals that actually made you happy? What if one of your biggest goals was to add more joy and pleasure to your daily life?
Our lives shouldn’t be giant checklist of ways in which we can polish and shine ourselves into perfection.
We don’t have to fill every waking hour with tasks that make us richer, more accomplished, better looking, healthier, and more well-read.
We can make goals like “Call best friend once a week” or “Try something at every bakery within five miles of my apartment.”
You can go after the goal of “Wear every piece of jewelry I own” or “Have a weekly Parks & Rec viewing party and re-watch the entire series.”
It’s okay to aspire towards more fun, happiness, and joy. They are just as goal-worthy as the corner office or a eight-minute mile.
How can you pursue your goal in a way you actually enjoy?
Let’s say my goal is “Exercise four times a week.” I could, theoretically, pursue that goal by going to the gym or running every morning. But I hate both those things!
Instead, I could put on my Youtube playlist called “Happy Dancing” and dance myself into a sweaty lather for 30 minutes, four times a week.
I could put my beloved state park pass to use and explore hiking trails. I could meet friends for snowshoeing or skiing.
I like doing all those things! And, what luck, they also happen to be exercise.
I could chase my goal of eating more produce by loading up on salads and raw veggie sticks (not personal favorites). Or I could finally learn how to make restaurant-caliber roasted brussel sprouts and sweet potato fries.
If my goal is “Have one networking lunch each week,” I could make sure those networking lunches happen at my favorite cafes. I could invite friends over for Prosecco and brunch to help me meet my goal of de-cluttering my closet.
You’re smart. You see where I’m going with this. Honest motivation + enjoyment = goals we’ll have fun pursuing.
Going after what we want doesn’t have to suck! Pursuing our goals doesn’t have to be a long, slow, joy-sucking journey filled with 5 am runs, undressed salads, and never-ending to-do lists.
It is totally possible to pursue your goals and enjoy your life simultaneously. Truly.
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Want some help with your habits and goals? Check out my free class 5 Reasons Your Good Habits Don’t Stick + How To Change That!