It wasn’t supposed to be like this…
This is not how my life was to turn out.
I had a husband and a great job with potential. Finally, I was traveling the world on important business meetings but at home my life was crumbling.
The ‘C’ word took residence and slowly stripped me of everything I loved and knew. My husband’s strength deteriorated before my eyes .. the mind went .. and ultimately I am now left alone. Widowed at age 34.
What do you do when FEAR consumes your life and like a disease kills your dreams? Easy….Start over….Rediscover who you are one painstakingly decision after another.
First decision sell everything and move to an island. Against all odds and logic I took a leap and ended up in the middle of the Caribbean in search of who I am now. Take one small girl from the midwest and pluck her out of a state of grief and relocate her to unfamiliar surroundings full of doubt and fear. You would assume impossible mixed with insanity. Instead you get healing through serving others and hours upon hours of facing grief head on.
8 months after death of a spouse, soulmate, my other half, and the grief threatens to deteriorate everything. Grief is an odd phantom that can consume every fiber in a flash but just as suddenly it can lift and leave peace.
Each person I meet has a story to tell and each time I am amazed how I can connect like never before. What is it about a child that touches a broken heart? The pure honesty that we lost so long ago as we grew up to be ‘adults’. We hide our pain from others and pretend everything is ok. Look deeper and its a lie…we all have secrets.. we all harbor pain in some form. Mine came in the shape of death after death. What is yours? If only ‘adults’ could be transparent and free to live…live the life we were meant to.
It just takes a Leap of Faith…a Leap of rediscovery…and a *#@! load of courage.