When I’d finished emotionally venting, I finally said “Someone with a partner would have a person to lean on during this time. But for me, apparently it’s just another thing that makes me too broken to date.” The thing is, I will never be whole. I will never be some sparkling example of human equanimity. I will never be someone who doesn’t occasionally wake up in the middle of the night to cry. I can’t un-become the person my suffering has made me.