#2018Liberation, the antidote to New Year’s resolutions
I’ve been following the #2018Liberation hashtag on Twitter and Medium today, and it has me fired up. Personally, I’m too self-growth obsessed to make resolutions once a year, but more like once a week. This habit has led to plenty of positive change, but also to a great deal of unwarranted self-criticism. I’ve had enough of it. I could resolve to monitor my propensity for self-criticism in 2018. But won’t that only perpetuate the problem when I inevitably slip up? I don’t want another resolution, I just want to hop off this hamster wheel.
Here’s what I’m freeing myself from in 2018.
My #2018Liberation List
Deprecating my body. 💪
I spent most of 2017 either sedentary due to injury or in physical therapy. I’d never felt more unfit. But I began to develop a better attitude toward taking care of my body. I became gentle, I rested, I was laser focused on the cues my body was giving me. And I still made tremendous progress toward my health and fitness goals. Now that I’m physically capable of a little more, I’m determined not to lose the good attitude I’ve been cultivating.
Disparaging my opinions, ideas, or abilities. 🤷
I have several bad habits when it comes to challenging conversations:
- I make a show of finding the middle ground when being presented with an asinine argument, rather than making my case and moving on.
- I generously search for aspects of dumb ideas to agree with.
- I don’t make a persuasive case when I know more about the subject than the person I’m talking to.
This doesn’t mean I can’t learn and grow and keep an open mind. It means I stand by what I put out there.
Participating in toxic drinking culture. 🍻
I moved back to the US this fall after spending 2017 living in Germany, Italy, and the UK. Heavy drinking nations, all three. Without noticing what I was doing or making any conscious decisions about it, I went from a heavy booze habit to not touching a drink for three months. It was eye-opening.
I’m not against drinking. I’m still going to do it sometimes. Because a nice red wine is something special. And a peaty Scotch that tastes faintly of the stuff on the bottom of my hiking boots after a trek through the Highlands? My god.
Here’s when I won’t be drinking:
- When I’m feeling stressed.
- When I’m feeling uncomfortable.
- When I’m worried about making someone else uncomfortable by saying no. (WTF, this feeling??)
- When I’m bored.
- When I wasn’t thinking of having a drink, but a friend suggests one, and it sounds like a fine idea, why not. (There’s nothing wrong with suggesting a drink, friend. I just don’t want to drink by default.)
Hesitating to speak up. 🙊
If somebody says something racist, sexist, ableist, or homophobic, they’re getting called the fuck out. The only exception will be if I’m concerned that speaking up will put someone else or myself in physical danger. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I hold back a fair bit. When the internal monologue goes, “Did they say what I think, or am I misunderstanding?” I’ll ask for clarification. If I feel like it’s not my place or it’s bad manners to call someone out…yeah, fuck that feeling. If I I’m all in on being a good ally. No excuses.
Shout out to Cate Huston and Ellen K. Pao for their inspiring positivity! ✨
