Finding Your Partner Through Life
I am a romantic, an idealist, an introvert. Growing into adulthood, I didn’t date very much. I wanted love so badly, but it never seemed to find me. As I learned more about myself, I realized I was the one holding myself back. I wasn’t ready for the things I wanted. As cliche as it sounds, I had to love myself before I could let anyone else in.
It happened gradually. I began dating more and more frequently, going about my life as I learned and built confidence, until finally I met him. My roommate at the time was more of an acquaintance. He had been watching my experience from afar and finally stepped in to suggest a man I had seen many times, but never actually considered. We began seeing each other and became inseparable. A year and a couple months later, we were married in our backyard surrounded by only immediate family. It was romantic and unpredictable. It was us.
I tell my story to share hope with those still looking. It can be discouraging at times to know that you are ready for love, but can’t seem to find the right person. Particularly as an introvert, it’s hard to know where to look. When I wanted to meet people, my friends would say, “You need to go out! Go get a drink! Go dancing!” But that just wasn’t me! So…I started online dating. It was terrifying! My first date, I had meet me at 9am in the morning at the dog park. I wanted to be in a public place, in broad daylight, and make my intentions clear. After the initial shock, I began to ease into it a bit more. Though I didn’t end up finding my love online, the meeting of new people and dating was good for me. It built my confidence significantly and showed me that dating was not as big of a deal as I had once made it out to be.
I have a bias toward introducing friends of friends, but when thought of logically, it actually is a very practical way to meet someone. You get along with your friends because of some commonality. If you can find another commonality amongst others, chances of them hitting it off are high. It’s our responsibility to share the love!
Another suggestion for those looking is to just to be more observant and brave in your day to day life. If you are doing things and going places you enjoy, chances are, others that enjoy those same things will be there as well. This is where bravery comes in. If you see someone you are interested in, strike up a conversation. It’s very scary and sometimes leads to nothing, but you put yourself out there. You are being proactive and it will eventually be rewarded.
One of the biggest misconceptions I had about love is that you both have to be the same. Sure, there are certain values you need in common, but you do not need to agree on everything! Having things you can teach each other makes for a more enriching relationship. It’s about finding someone you never get tired of being around. Someone who respects you and all of your quirks. It’s about finding someone to share your life with and all of the experiences that go along with it. Life is hard. You won’t always be happily dancing through your days. It’s about finding someone who will stick out the tough parts with you, serving as your support system. It’s about finding someone you can talk to about anything, even if you know it will upset them. In the end, you love each other deeply and nothing else matters. They are your partner through this wild journey we call life.