This week is quite tough for me. Challenges, problems, and shits I have to encounter. Sometimes, I think that I would not be able to overcome things that constantly happen, all of those problems that hit me hard. I could not be proud of myself, I didn’t think I am good enough. I didn’t think that I can actually contribute to the society. I am just a reckless-careless-and-feelingless human being.
To tell you the truth, I oftenly feel jealous to my surroundings. Those who got accepted in Public University, those who won lots of competitions, those who worked hard and earn money for their parents, they are all amazing. While this is me, a self-centered girl who watch Korean Dramas and read book sometimes. I don’t mean to brag, but, I am on the top of the class. People envy me, as I usually get good marks. Teachers love me, and everything seems good. I have some close friends who constantly support me through ups and downs, and I should be grateful. I know, and I understand. But oftenly, people like us, still think that we could have done better. We could have made a more significant change. We could have accomplished more ‘missions’. These thoughts are the ones that drive us nuts. That causes us to not being able to appreciate ourself, and what we have done. We are intoxicated by the thoughts that we could be more productive if we decided to. While in fact, we have done all possible attempts that we can do, and we should be proud of ourself. We could not stop comparing ourself to other people, while actually, we have tried so hard to be in our position right now. This is dangerous. We are consumed by the thought that we are not worthy enough, that we do not deserve anything. Let’s stop.
I came to a conclusion that comparing myself to others won’t make me better. I am destroying myself, slowly but sure, just because I want to become someone else. Just because I want to be seen as someone that could do anything. To win at everything, to show the world that I am capable of doing great, amazing things. But we have to realize that we are all humans. We are living with flaws, we do mistakes, and that’s what makes us humans. We should stop blaming ourself for not achieving better results. Instead, we should cherish every moments we have experienced, we should respect ourself more, we should appreciate ourself more. Because no one is going to do it for us. We should not let people define us. We define ourselves. That is why, we should appreciate ourself more. Because at the end, even shadow leaves you when it’s dark. You can only rely to yourself. And the way you look at yourself is really important. The more you appreciate yourself, the more happiness you could gain. Now look at the mirror, look at that amazing human being standing there, and appreciate yourself, regardless of time and circumstances. You are beautiful. You are amazing. You can do incredible things. Appreciate it.