Searching for my tribe.

illustration by the author Sarah Healy

Seeking balance is a never ending story.

It is incredibly difficult to balance all aspects of your life. I am writing this from the perspective of a person sans kids. Once they are thrown into the mix, life seems to get a whole lot messier.

I vividly remember a previous co-worker say ‘I can’t remember what I did with all my time’. This was in reference to before she had children. How did she fills the hours she wondered out loud.

In my children-less life, I still find there are not enough hours in the day. I am never bored and regularly concoct to-do lists and lists of things I want to achieve.

Albeit, I can be a lot more selfish when I carve out my routines.

I can go for a long hot shower whenever I please without trepidation that the house will be torn down in my absence.

My house is not littered with cups of cold coffee that I neither got to enjoy or finish.

I quite like my children-less life. But perhaps this is because I don’t know what is it like to have children. Only through the war stories of others and hanging out with the children of others.

I quite like children, hanging out with a five year old gives you a new perspective on life and chore can be turned into a game.

I think I have found my tribe among the little people.

Do I want to create my own little person?

Not at the moment, but who knows what the future will hold.

For the moment, I am thoroughly enjoying my purely selfish existence on this earth. Endless freedom. I can prioritize how I spend my time and who I spend it with.

Tomorrow, I can pack my backpack and move somewhere completely different if I wish.

Sounds awesome right? Well, it is and it isn’t.

This freedom comes at the cost of not being around my friends or family. While I can gain great experiences and meet new people it is all fleeting. There is no sense of belonging, unless you live somewhere for a few months.

To gain a sense of belonging takes work however. You need to put yourself out there, talk to people, join a club.

This does not compare to being part of a community where you grew up or in your hometown. When you are on the road, it is a good substitute.

We seek a sense of belonging.

Is this why so many people choose to have children? To form the ultimate exclusive club to which there are only a select few members?

Being able to create your own people or tribe must feel like an incredible superpower. Who needs other people when you can create your OWN people!

At the moment while on the road I am enjoying meeting people of different ages from different cultures. Seeing how they live and getting a glimpse into their perspectives on life. Being invited into their homes to share meals, tea and conversation is a rare privilege.

Will I find my tribe while on the road?


Regardless, I will enjoy the journey.