Prescription or intuition?
Any time I consider goals, I vascilate between two extremes… the job description that is given to me with all the details already written, and the one that is entirely created by me. I bounce between very specific and daily running plans versus the intuitive approach of creating day by day. I decide between the BeachBody strict 12–week diet plan versus eating moment by moment.
It seems to me that the dichotomy I’m deciding between can be simplified into not trusting and trusting myself. When I don’t trust myself to succeed, I enroll and rely on outside structure. When I trust myself to succeed, I create an intuitive plan that moves within the space and time I’m in.
Neither extreme really seems to work, because if I choose the prescribed plan, I’ll worry that the structure excludes space for my heart to express. And then, I’ll edit the prescribed plan so much so that it changes completely and doesn’t work. Conversely, I’ll operate from my intuition and heart for a few days, but then begin to doubt myself and completely reverse back to a prescribed plan.
However, bouncing between these two extremes is not helpful because in both cases I’m not trusting the process. With the set plan, I’m not trusting that it includes my whole self in the plan and so I immediately edit it. With the intuitive plan, I get self conscious and don’t trust myself as the expert and so I’ll immediately scrap it and shift into an online prescribed plan.
So, why bother with this yo-yo effect? Why do I continually go back and forth?
I’m always tempted by the prescribed plan because it seems easy to enroll in a pre-determined plan, that is guaranteed to work, and doesn’t require any planning on the part of the participant. It seems fool proof and simple! And I’m equally as tempted by creating my intuitive plan because I want to honor and listen to myself and my body. I want to trust that I know what is best and that my intuition around exercise knows how much and when?, that my nutritional intuition knows how, what and when?, and that my intuition knows how to balance all other habits to optimize my wellness!
I reflected today on the two times I can remember when I was in the best shape of my life. I had been given a structured running plan, but was in third world conditions with limited freedom with running or any other of my traditional training methods. And so I felt liberated to use the running goals as a guide but to moreover trust and use my awareness and intuition to get as fit as possible. What guided everything was the simple and steadfast intention to get into the best running shape of my life using whatever I could to get there. The eating was kept simple and intuitive without too much variety, the exercise was creative and took advantage of the space I was in, I was moving in an integrative weave between what was offered and my intention, and I relied on the people around me for motivation and to keep everything fun.