Peeing in the snow

I hate snow camping. Every time I go snow camping I am always cold. I live in the Northwest so I should be this snow loving guru. I hike and backpack in the summer and live for the outdoors but when winter hits I’m like a sack of potatoes. Every year I try to deny this but it never works.

One year I went snow camping. I was with a lot of friends. There was a lot of tequila. Well I go to bed with all of the tequila. I am nice and warm, but then I wake up. I am all of a sudden sick and freezing, and I have to pee. I put my snow pants on and gather the courage to go outside. I realize that some people think, “snow camping… how much snow could there be?” I mean I am camping at the base of Mt. Rainier, the most glaciated mountain in the world. There is no end to the amount of snow. If I take one wrong step my life is in a tree well.

So I have to pee. I walk somewhere because who cares we are all drunk and snow camping… I pull my snow pants down and start to pee. About half way through I feel the pee traveling into my pants and all down my legs. It’s warm but I know it’s not good. I freak out but I am stuck in the snow and the tequila is screaming at me. I have to finish peeing. It turns out that because the snow is high you have to position yourself just right to not hit yourself while peeing. This might sound normal even when there isn’t snow but it is especially tricky when your legs are already sunk 2 feet. By this point I have accepted my fate. And you know what I did? I slept in my tent, freezing and smelling like my own piss.

I hate snow camping.

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