It dawned on me as I was sitting eating lunch with my family today that sexism and misogyny is present everywhere. More often than not, I sit at the dinner table and hold in every remotely expressive comment, in fear of being verbally abused by my own brother just because I am female. I can honestly say that there is rarely an occasion when I am not ridiculed or put down during a family meal, or any time that I am in the company of my brother. In fact, there is rarely an instance in which I do not experience a negative comment from my brother when we are within communication proximity.

It saddens me to realize, despite what I believed about our nation being a place of equality (at least for men and women), that our upbringing really emphasizes male power and superiority. This is extremely disappointing, especially because we are raised to believe that sexism is a thing of the past. It took me until quite recently to realize that I am a victim of a male-dominated society, that I have been sexually harassed, I have been sexually abused, and I am constantly harassed every day for no other reason than being born with a vagina.

When I was 18, I was sexually assaulted by a guy I’d known for over 10 years and whom I considered a close friend. He had taken advantage of me when I was highly intoxicated, and at the time, I just felt lucky that he hadn’t raped me. I didn’t tell anyone about it because I was scared of getting blamed, especially because there was alcohol involved and he was well liked. I also didn’t think people would take me seriously because I was not raped. When I look back now, I realize how ridiculous those reasons for not reporting are. It disgusts me to see that being sexually abused or raped in our society is still frowned upon, that being the victim is more embarrassing than being the perpetrator. It also saddens me that we live in a society that doesn’t even consider taking sexual abuse issues seriously unless it is considered a ‘real’ rape.

“..being the victim is more embarrassing than being the perpetrator.”

Another point I’d like to make centers around sexual harassment that occurs in the streets on a day to day basis. Anyone would think that the days of men calling out to random women on the street, “Nice ass.” were over, but this is definitely not the case. Just the other day, I was out running and a car full of tradesmen drove past. When they saw me, they deliberately slowed down so they could drive directly beside me, hung out the window, and started shouting at me. Luckily, I had headphones on so didn’t hear what they were saying and managed to ignore them until they gave up and drove off.

I find several things wrong with this experience. Firstly, usually when events such as this occur, women are expected to be flattered and take any harassment as a compliment of their physical appearance. To me, this is absolutely ridiculous and I am ashamed to be part of a society that encourages such behaviour. Secondly, I am disturbed by the fact that although I didn’t hear what the guys were saying (and maybe they weren’t harassing me), I automatically assumed that their comments were sexually suggestive. It’s terrible, but we live in a society that gives power to men, degrades women, and assumes that at any chance they get, men will abuse there so-called power over women.

What is really upsetting is that even some women have become part of the population that promotes the degradation of women, possibly without even realizing it. When I was in high school, my Dad and brother often expected me to cook and clean for them when my step-mum was out. When asked why, their response and reasoning usually centered around differences in gender. But what is even more disconcerting is that my Mum, and step-mum both expected me to learn how to cook after finishing school because it is expected of women to have this ‘life skill’. Whereas, when my brother finished school there was no such expectation. Furthermore, whenever there is washing, ironing or vacuuming to be done around the house, it is always me who is expected to step up and take the initiative, rather than my brother. I’m pretty sure it’s not just me, but I thought this attitude was supposed to have been scrapped a while ago, certainly before my lifetime.

It’s worrying that I could probably go on all day about the inequalities between men and women that are still present in today’s society, and all my experiences of harassment, abuse and sexism. I could talk about the number of times my brother has physically attacked me because his size and strength entitles him to, or the way people assume, due to my appearance that I am only attracted to men. But I guess, predictably, my point is — #yesallwomen. Although many of us may not realize it, we have all been victims of harassment, sexism or gender inequality at one point or another, either directly or indirectly. So, despite certain beliefs, YES ALL WOMEN do experience victimisation, even if they do not realize it.