On being a snob…

This post is a drunk post. Meaning, I was drunk when I typed these words. And nothing in this blog post is meant to be politically upsetting, super thought provoking, nor will it help you to be your most productive self. It’s meant to be a break from all the things that weigh you down and make you stop and think. Instead, it’ll make you stop and (enjoy!) that drink.

I’ve unknowingly have become the biggest snob I know.

I not the “I want to talk to the manager snob” (we all know that meme…)

But the person who doesn’t order Coors Light, Bud Light, Sam Adams, or even a Summer Shandy (or whatever similar variety thereof).

I’m the person that turns my nose up to Wisconsin’s local Spotted Cow AND local wine…. Have you ever had wine from the Midwest? Maybe it’s your thing, but not mine. Too sweet for my palate! Unfortunately for the climate in this area, drier wines are more difficult to produce. I’m not bashing anyone who thoroughly enjoys wine from Wisconsin or Michigan, but you certainly won’t see me buying it (unless it’s for my mom!).

I prefer wine from either a local retail outlet or something with a story behind it. Wine is an experience. I’ve learned to appreciate that journey since I would rather not drink to get drunk (unless the depression hits me out of the blue). I literally have dozens of different wine and beer glasses to fit the styles of wine and beer that myself and my partner try out in an effort to enhance the tasting experience. And for the time where I could care less, I have a special wine glass just for that. It’s a ceramic wine glass (like the type you made in middle school art class) that prevents hangovers. Yes, you read that right. The ceramic pulls out the bad tannins in wines. And if you’re fortunate enough to come across one, buy the shit out of it. Preferably the ones without the inner lining of glaze since the unglazed ones work better for pulling out tannins that cause ‘wine hangovers’. The lady who sold my sister in law and I these glasses told us she drank two bottles of wine with no hangover. I, however, have not quite had that experience; I’ve woken up feeling slightly out of sorts, but no head ache. Which is enough to get me through my day.

I think part of the reason I’ve become a beer/wine snob is due to the craft beer culture of Wisconsin and Michigan. The only places where crap beer is served is at generic restaurant franchises, super lonely bars up north, or super dive-y bars where people go for shit beer.

In addition, my lovely boyfriend has taken to beer brewing…. which I am an excellent supervisor at. And fortunately for us, we have several friends who also enjoy home brewing! Lucky us! This endeavor has granted me the knowledge of knowing the perfect temperature to serve IPAs, Belgians, Stouts, Rosés, Cabernets, Merlots, Chardonnays, and the likes. In addition, as I stated before, I’ve come to learn the various styles of glasses in which each is best served for maximum taste profile. What I’m working on learning now is food pairing! It’s easy to say “serve red wine with red meat, white wine with white meat”… but did you know that dry Rosés work well with spicy foods? We’ve all heard It’s much more lux to have deep, rich, Cab Sav with a nice steak… it enhances the flavor experiences of both wine and food and makes the steak taste more buttery and smooth. Another added benefit of pairing wine/beer with food is taking the time to enjoy our meals… and thus… eating less because our brain has time to register when we become too full to eat any more.

Another bonus of taking the time to savor my alcoholic beverages is that I actually drink less. It’s been a wonderful experience. My boyfriend is lucky, in that, his palate is more expansive than mine… it’s like a muscle you have to work out. Did you know the human tongue (and nose, together!) can detect over 10,000 tastes (and smells?!)! It’s no wonder it takes years to become a Sommelier! Sometimes, I may seem obsessed about beer and wine, and may come off as an alcoholic. Which is unfortunate… because I hate being hungover, and I become even more of an airhead if I try to function normally when I’m intoxicated. I’d rather be known as a connoisseur… even if that means I come off as a beer or wine snob. I’m a snob with good taste. But also a snob who *occasionally* enjoys happy hour drink specials.

Another place where my snobbish selectiveness has shown up… is in yoga. Who would’ve guessed?

Let me start by saying, I’m currently pursuing a Yoga Teacher Training certification to become a certified yoga instructor through Alignment Yoga Studio, the oldest yoga studio in Madison.

One reason why I’ve chosen to become a yoga instructor is because the yoga community has too many skinny, blonde, bendy people. The irony being… I am one of those people….

Since I blatantly fall into that category, my aim is to change the stereotype and break the stigma. One thing my teachers have preached is ‘Blessed are the stiff.’ Yoga benefits the stiff and harms those with already hyper-mobile joints. In essence, people who say they are not flexible enough to do yoga, will reap the most benefits. Those who are super bendy and flexible, are the most likely to suffer from yoga injuries, due to the tendency to want to push themselves further in a pose to ‘feel’ the pose.

Joint Laxity is a term that I learned in my last yoga teacher training session. In a nutshell, it is the people who are double jointed, have creepily, bendy elbow joints, can touch their thumb to their wrist, and can touch their palms to the ground- no problemo.

Joint laxity is said to affect roughly 10% of the population… yet 90% of the yoga population. Because for once in their lives, people with joint laxity are celebrated for being bendy, and aren’t necessarily the fastest, strongest, or most agile. Which is why I can’t run with my SO…. he has the build of a marathon runner, cheetah, and I have the build of a ballerina, hippo. When we run, his muscles can absorb the shock of the ground as his feet hit pavement, while my joints are quick to expend that energy into thin air.

Another small issue that I have with yoga (which adds to me being a snob), is that the majority of people do yoga to reduce stress or increase energy. One of the studios that I go to (which shall remain nameless) has a severe lack on the focus of grounding. In the United States, several people suffer from chronic fatigue and exhaustion. So some turn to yoga as a way to increase energy. However… (bear with me), what if we took the energy that people already have, in the form of anxiety, insomnia, frustration, restlessness… and focused it on grounding ourselves instead? What grounding can do for us it to use that pent up, unfiltered energy for what we want it to do (get through our day without coffee and naps! … but Coffee = life…… digression done!). Imagine getting through our days with minimal distraction and intense focus. Something that I can only achieve when I feel grounded. The energy that people already harbor is being inefficiently used. Yoga can teach us to harness that energy, control it, and use it to our benefit.

The yoga studio that I regularly go to (it’s a hot studio, one of the more affordable ones in my city), end their yoga sessions by instructing students to lie to their right for grounding and left for energy. I have noticed a lot of people choose the latter. In doing so, what if they are choosing to add an energy imbalance to their lives? Since starting my YTT journey, the more I focus on grounding, the more *positive* energy I feel in my life. I feel more focused, more centered, more in control of my emotions. And that’s saying something!

So what I hope you take away from this blog post is… Take time to smell the roses. Your life isn’t a race against someone else’s. You create your own destiny. Be authentic to yourself, drink good wine, drink good beer, do good yoga.

Namaste, bitches.

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