The snooze button, or “Get outside. That’s where the magic is.”
Watch Mel Robbin’s Ted Talk “How to stop screwing yourself” if you are feeling you are in a rut, or if you are avoiding doing the dishes (like me — I watched it, then decided to blog about it — points for epic procrastination).
The problem is we are all “dream-killers” — we have impulses and if we don’t act on this impulse, it dies in 5 seconds.
We prefer to hit the snooze button than force ourselves into change. Change is often scary and painful. Eating is less painful than dieting. Staying in bed is less painful than getting up and so on.
She explains, how we have to “parent ourselves”, because no one is going to force us to do the things we don’t want to do. For example, we brush our teeth — there’s no parent standing over us, telling us what to do.
So, in other words, we have lost our child-like impulses to enjoy — be spontaneous, and at the same time have to become our own parents?
That sucks. But knowing these things could be the key to a richer, more spontaneous and less stressful life.
Initially, I was thinking, “Well, I don’t have that problem. I act on my passions, I’m impulsive, I love to dance, I organise events, play music…” But in some parts of my life, it’s very true.
And this is what I’d like to add — it’s not equally there in all spheres of life. One example Mel gave was: “If you see someone interesting at a party, then go up to them immediately, don’t wait for the emergency break.” I usually do this at parties, but if I’m on the tube and eyes meet — of course I fight an impulse not to talk. That would be weird. But what would I have to lose?
This is also applies to discipline with things we think we don’t want to do, but feel better once they are done. If I see my kitchen is in a mess, I will fight that impulse, tell myself I don’t have the time, later. Bad self-parenting, Mel would say.
Where do you fight your impulses?
(Goes to kitchen to wash up)