The millennial woman’s guide to camping: necessities

Mt. Whitney, August 2017

Camping is one of my few hobbies outside of drinking, crime TV, and Eurovision. We’ve amassed a great deal of gear over the years, and it’s immensely satisfying when your gear comes through for you—the opposite of buyer’s remorse. It’s also one of the few things that I enjoy practicing and learning about, rather than just being good at it on the first try. I’m not an organized person by nature, but camping forces it on me, and I get better at it each time. I can set up tents singlehandedly, and I’m always ready with the perfect light source (read: flashlight) for anyone’s tactical needs.

This weekend, I went camping with a group of other women—many of them novices. I love to lower camping’s barrier to entry for others, but I can’t be on every camping trip to show you the gear and techniques that can take your experience from “meh” to magnificent. So the first installment of this guide focuses on the very basics, the things you absolutely need to bring and know when you go on a camping trip of four days max. Future installments will cover food and cooking, activities, extreme conditions, camping with dogs, and whatever else I can think of.

Lake Folsom, May 2019

Before you go

Select a suitable spot.

Don’t drive all the way to the Palisades without some advance preparation. Make a list of a few spots you’re interested in, and list out the features. Some might allow RV camping and tent camping side by side (I’m not a fan of RVs and find camping next to them to be a noisy nuisance), and some you might have to actually backpack in rather than simply drive up to the site. Some other things to find out:

• Does the campground take reservations, or is it walk-in?
• Does the site have a fire pit?
• Does the campground have a potable water source?
• How many cars are allowed?
• Are dogs allowed, on-leash or off-?
• What’s the weather going to be like?
• Does the campground sell firewood and kindling?
• Where is the site in relation to stuff you want to do there? Check out a map: Pick a site that seems like it’ll have a good view, that’s next to the river or trailhead, or simply close to the bathroom.
• Speaking of bathrooms, are there any? Pit toilets are like portapotties, whereas full bathrooms might even have showers (many are coin-operated). When backpacking or wilderness camping, you won’t have these luxuries, so bring some ziploc bags to shit in. This is not a joke.

Pack the essentials.

To camp with any level of comfort, you absolutely need to bring the following:

• A tent. If you’re with a group, the other members might have capacity for you in their tents if you’re not ready to shell out for your own.
• A tarp bigger than your tent’s footprint. This keeps your tent clean and dry, and offers a convenient little spot outside for getting your shoes off and on.
• Stakes and a mallet. Stakes help keep your tent and tarp in place and act as extra supports if you’re assembling a tent by yourself. Rubber mallets are especially handy, but try to get one that has a hook on the other end—useful for pulling the stakes out.
• Firewood and kindling. I hope to write an installment dedicated to building a fire, but frankly, I’m not very good at it yet. I plan to get more practice this summer. I do know that dryer lint and empty egg cartons make great kindling.
• Sleeping bag and pillow. I don’t think anything fancy is necessary, but it is nice to have compact, space-saving options.
• Sleeping pad. Inflatable ones are a bit more expensive, but if you’re a millennial like me, you’re aging, and you require something cushier. Don’t skimp here.
• Cash. You might need to pay for the site at the ranger station, or you might need to buy firewood or an extra parking spot. Not every place takes cards.
• Headlamp. If you bring only one flashlight, make it a headlamp for hands-free lighting.
• Bug spray and sunscreen. Having a sunburn while camping is extremely uncomfortable, and pulling ticks off yourself sucks, too.
• First aid. You can buy camping first-aid kits, or you can assemble one with hydrocortisone, Neosporin, bandages, tweezers, and painkillers.
• Toilet paper. Need to wipe your ass, blow your nose, or squash a bug? Toilet paper to the rescue!
• Bandana and sunglasses. Bandanas are more than just a cute accessory; they’re an all-purpose fluid absorber. Wipe sweat off your brow, dry wet hands, blow your nose, soak in water and tie around your neck on hot days.
• Wet wipes and hand sanitizer. Get comfortable with not really ever being clean while you’re out there, but these two things will help. If I could change one thing about the camping experience, it would be to have less dust and dirt all over everything.
• Extra batteries. Get some for your headlamp, and bring one for your phone.
• Clothes. You will not be sorry if you are prepared for the worst-case scenarios. Remember that you won’t be able to go inside to warm up, cool off, or get dry for the duration of your trip. Bring extra socks and underwear. It’s great to dedicate a portion of your wardrobe to camping, because whatever you wear is gonna be filthy and smell like smoke until the end of time.
• Shoes. If you’re hiking, you’ll want hiking boots, and if you’re swimming, you’ll want sandals or water shoes, but you’ll also want “camp shoes,” ones that you can slip on and off easily to lounge about the site, go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, etc.
• Eye mask, earplugs, benadryl. Sleeping badly while camping is a rookie mistake. The eye mask blocks out dawn light, the earplugs block out noisy RV campers, and the benadryl makes it so I can actually fall asleep and counteracts my mosquito and grass allergies.
• Toothbrush and toothpaste. This and wet wipes comprise my entire camping beauty routine. I’m not there to look cute; I’m there to get fucked up (see next bullet).
• Food and beverages. Many people use camping as an excuse to get absolutely shitfaced, and I am no exception. So bring alcohol, sure, but also bring water and gatorade. There’s a full post coming on camp cooking, but to cover your bases, bring enough granola bars, fruit, trail mix, canned sardines, bread, and anything else you like that doesn’t require cooking or refrigeration.
• Trash bags. I bring full-size ones as well as ziplocs (for trash inside the tent and/or while hiking).
• Water bottle. Hydration is key.
• Cups, plates, utensils, etc. Your dish and cookware needs will vary, and you might want to try paper or plastic versions rather than investing in a mess kit (although these are cheap).
• Urination device. Hear me out, cis ladies: Peeing standing up beats trekking to a campground bathroom of questionable cleanliness, especially in the middle of the night. I use a hard plastic funnel called a “P-Style,” and proper use also means you don’t need toilet paper and you don’t end up with damp underwear. If you ever go hiking, picnicking, or music festivaling, this device will pay for itself many times over. But make sure you also get a washable bag to carry it around in.

Prepare yourself.

Get mentally and physically ready for your camping trip:

• Wear your bulkiest stuff on the ride out. It’s like going to the airport; save some space in your bag.
• Shower right before you leave. Especially wash your hair. You’ll notice I didn’t include toiletries on the packing list, and that’s because you’ll already have enough to fuss with and because scented items attract wildlife, including bears.
• Really go all-out on your skincare routine. Again, you probably won’t be taking your nine-step Korean skincare line on the trip, so double-cleanse, exfoliate, do a mask, and apply every serum you own. Also, moisturize your hands! You won’t believe how quickly they dry out.
• Braid your hair or don a hat. This means you won’t have to worry about your hair the whole time, ideally. I usually do both if my hair is long enough.
• Don’t do your nails. Don’t even trim them. Wait until after you get back, which will make a bigger impact on the grime you’ll have underneath.
• Don’t do any hair removal. You won’t have what you need to deal with razor burn or ingrowns, so make sure you’re in the safe zone for that on the day you leave.
• Say your social media goodbyes. Rarely does a U.S. campsite have cell service. Take photos, but you’ll probably have to wait to post.
• Embrace the elements. You’re going to get wet, dirty, cold, hot, and otherwise uncomfortable. It’s part of being one with nature or whatever. Once you stop resisting, you’ll have a lot more fun and be able to relax.

Pine Flat Lake, April 2019

While you’re there

Set up.

The first thing I always do is set up the tent. Once the tent is set up, you can finish unloading the car and put stuff inside it. So pack the car so tents (and headlamps) are easily accessible.

Then get your tent ready for sleep. Put the rain fly on if you want to be warmer, drier, and darker, but leave it in the car if you want to doze off stargazing. Inflate your mattress pad, unroll your sleeping bag, and stash your earplugs, mask, water bottle, P-Style, and headlamp in an easy-to-access spot. Most tents have mesh pockets in the roof or on the side that are great for this; hanging the headlamp from the top makes it do double-duty as a tent light.

Once your tent is ready, get everything organized again. I keep large tubs organized and labeled “fire, light, water, heat,” “tidiness, safety, fun,” and “kitchen.” You might find another organizational system that works better for you.

Eat and drink.

Most of the time, you’ll arrive at your campsite in the afternoon or evening. So apply your bug spray, sanitize your hands, and have a snack. Have two snacks. Get ready for dinner. Pour yourself a glass of wine. Eat some mushrooms, I don’t care. Once you’re set up, it’s time to do what you came there to do: relax, fill your tummy, chat with your friends, and commune with nature.

Make fire.

Campfires rule. Find someone to build and maintain your fire, and you can stay warm, ward off bugs, and roast marshmallows late into the night.

Sleep.

You’ll likely feel tired earlier than usual because there will be very little artificial light, but remember to be considerate to your fellow campers. Avoid drunken screaming and blasting Cardi B after dark. When you’re ready for bed, take your trash to the dumpster, brush your teeth, wipe your face, take your benadryl, wash any dishes you dirtied, and put everything that might have a scent (toothpaste, wet wipes, leftover food and drink, sunscreen…) either in the wildlife locker provided or in the tent with you. Don’t leave things in the car. Bears aren’t likely to bother you inside your tent, but they have totaled unattended cars to get at a bottle of sunscreen. They are wildin’.

If it’s likely to rain, put everything that’s not scented in the locker, your tent, or the car. If not, I just leave clean dishes out to dry and my tubs on the picnic table. Remember to fully extinguish your campfire. Dump water on it and spread out the coals so they die out.

I always sleep fully clothed while camping because I usually need to get up in the middle of the night. I grab my previously stowed headlamp and P-Style, slip on my camp shoes, and stumble out of the tent.

Wake up and enjoy your day.

If you’re leaving the next morning, do all of this in time for checkout. Otherwise, get up on your own time, hit the bathroom, have a leisurely breakfast while enjoying the views, wet-wipe your body, apply SPF, and prepare for your day’s activities.

Yosemite, January 2016

When you leave

Clean up.

Take only memories, leave only footprints, etc. Pack out everything you brought. Don’t leave anything for the bears, birds, or bees. Pull every stake out of the ground.

To pack a tent, remove all of its poles and stakes, and flatten out the tent as best you can into a rectangle. Then place the poles in the center of one end, and fold the tent into a skinnier rectangle around the poles (this all but guarantees your tent will fit into its bag)—I usually end up folding in thirds. Then roll it up tightly and put it in its bag.

Get home safely.

If you have, in fact, used this trip to obliterate your sobriety, do be careful driving home. Take a slower, scenic route. Stop for a cheeseburger. Pull over for a nap. The hard part of camping is over, and you’re gonna be home soon!

Clean and dry your gear.

Your things are gonna be dirty and probably wet. That’s OK. Wait till you get home or even a couple of days to clean and dry your tent, tarp, cooler, and so on.

To clean a tent, set it up like you did at the site. (Live in a studio apartment? Try taking it to a nearby park or alleyway.) Sweep or dustbuster the inside, and then wash the inside and outside with a bucket of soapy water and a sponge. Then let it dry and pack it back up.

Sleeping bags don’t need to be washed as much as you might think. I wash mine about once a year, or whenever they get especially crusty.

Washing dishes at a campsite can often seem pointless, so if you cooked, your dishes are probably still nasty. Wash them for real at home.

Do self-care.

For me, this is an augmented version of the pre-camping routine: long shower, double shampoo, eleventy-step skincare routine, fresh-tip nails, hair removal. If you got any burns, bruises, or bites, treat them with the heavy-duty stuff you have at home.

Congratulate yourself.

Now is a good time to post photos of your trip. Look at you, you badass. You braved the wilderness and have the receipts! I bet you even learned some new things about camping that you can put into practice next time!

Russian River, August 2018

Next in this series

I think it makes sense to proceed to food and cooking, but somebody let me know if you have pressing questions that need answers.