Sarah VV: It’s interesting that most of the things you mention are ways to avoid being repulsive…
Edward L Platt

No but people will say “oh no, that guy is walking over this way, he always smells so bad please don’t walk this way… no… he’s coming this way….”

Eh,with the exception of the shower thing (seriously though, so many of the guys in my engineering classes didn’t do that and would wear the same wrinkled clothes they went to class in the day before while not wearing deodorant that it was really really a problem) it’s mostly a matter of try to put some effort into your appearance. Just a little, at least. Girls do those things every day with hair styling products and makeup and clothing that flatters their body. In a different comment I mentioned that my male friends that are more attractive are all the ones that put effort into their appearance — they keep themselves well groomed, they make sure they wear clothes that fit and actually wear outfits rather than just a mixture of random articles of clothing they pulled from thier closet that day, they get thier hair cut into actual styles and work to keep those styles in check through the use of gel and brushes and regular trims. They generally work out in some way. The less attractive male friends don’t do these things. Their hair will get occasional trims but is generally shapeless and rarely sees a brush. They might walk out the door in a tye-dye tank top, ripped battered cargo shorts with holes in them and camo flip flops, they are wearing clothes, but not an outfit. Some still work out. Others don’t. It’s also worth noting that the “attractive” styles are all very different from each other but suit the lifestyle and personality of the guy wearing it. One guy I know has a definite cowboy/western look going with boots and hats and slicked or tied back hair. And clothes that fit him well. Another has more of a outdoorsy lumberjack look with a lot of flannel, a well trimmed beard/mustache thing and shoes that work great for hiking through the woods. Another tends to stick with an athletic style with close cropped hair and a shaved face and large muscles he works hard every day at the gym to earn. Yet another is obsessed with batman and occasionally wears a full batman suit but generally can be seen in either his navy uniform or a batman t-shirt and jeans that are clean and fit him. My ex used to live in Italy and went with a more European-ish style and tended to wear slim fit jeans, button down shirts, vests, hats and again generally tried to keep his hair managed.

I probably have a larger number of attractive female friends than I do male friends but a higher percentage of my female friends do all those things I mentioned my attractive male friends do. They get their hair cut into actual shapes and styles and take care of it every day. They get rid of unwanted facial and body hair daily. They put together outfits that flatter them. They tend to diet or exercise or both. They wear makeup- maybe not a lot of makeup and sometimes it isn’t even noticeable that they are wearing makeup but it’s often there. I do have female friends that are less attractive. They tend to be the ones that don’t do any of that. They might get their hair trimmed but they don’t go in and get it cut into a style. They might brush their hair but they don’t style it and generally they just pull it back into a messy pony tail or bun. They don’t wear clothes that fit them (or bras that fit) and their clothes tend to fall into the “I grabbed random things from my closet and stuck them together” category rather than actually being an outfit. They never wear any makeup. The “attractive” female styles are just as diverse as my “attractive” male friend’s styles. One girl loves her comfy-yet-girly slightly ballet inspired clothes. She prefers to keep her hair in a purposely messy and very cute low bun while wearing leggings under her flared dresses. Another tends to look like she stepped off the set of an action movie with nearly unnoticeable makeup (generally just some concealer with maybe some mascara or tinted lip balm) her hair pulled into either a French braid or a high neat ponytail and wearing jeans/shorts with tank tops and leather jackets. Another is very New York City chick with bold makeup, black and white well tailored clothing and shorter hair. Another goes for pink and florals and let’s her hair down and free (but not a tangled mess).

While it’s probably not the only factor or even necessarily the deciding factor in whether a person is perceived as attractive, I really think that those that take at least a little time to actively work on their appearance tend to be considered more attractive. And I also mentioned doing stuff you like as that can impact what style you should go for. There isn’t really one universal style that men (or women) need to cling to in order to be attractive, but generally they should have some kind of style. Even if it’s a basic T-shirt and jeans look, there is a way to pull it off well- mostly by making sure everything actually fits your colors coordinate and your hair and face are well groomed.

Was that more clear? I wrote the first response when I was really tired and was probably not nearly as clear as I meant to be.