95 Things I Should Do Every Day According to the Internet

Here is a summary of the things I, a 30-something lady, should be doing every day according to the internet.

  1. Wake up early after sleeping REM sleep for 7–8 hours.
  2. Turn off alarm clock after walking across the room to get to it.
  3. Meditate for 20 minutes.
  4. Have a pre-workout snack.
  5. Workout. Elevate heart rate for at least 30 minutes.
  6. Stretch.
  7. Identify set of goals for the day.
  8. Drink a glass of lemon water.
  9. Brew a cup of fair-trade, locally roasted coffee using preferred method (pourover, Aeropress, French press).
  10. Have a balanced breakfast with complex carbohydrates, protein, and some fat preferably high in Omega-3s and with at least 5 grams of fiber.
  11. Avoid dairy products.
  12. Avoid sodium.
  13. Consume more protein.
  14. Take multivitamin.
  15. Take fish oil supplement.
  16. Take calcium supplement.
  17. Shower. Make sure water temperature isn’t too hot.
  18. Use paraben-free, sulfate-free shampoo and conditioner.
  19. While showering, pull coconut oil through teeth.
  20. Remove excess body hair.
  21. Exfoliate.
  22. Moisturize.
  23. Read the newspaper.
  24. Listen to National Public Radio.
  25. Apply sunscreen.
  26. Apply makeup for a natural look.
  27. Select the right undergarments.
  28. Wear smart, professional outfit carefully selected from capsule wardrobe.
  29. Avoid heels.
  30. Make the bed.
  31. Grab pre-prepared snacks and lunch, preferably paleo or Whole30, from fridge on way out the door.
  32. Listen to the latest podcast on commute to work.
  33. Avoid touching railings or doors in public spaces.
  34. Think about fertility.
  35. Wash hands immediately upon arrival to work (avoid antibacterial soap) to avoid sickness.
  36. Arrive at ergonomic standing desk.
  37. Take a moment to close eyes and focus on goals for the day.
  38. Do random act of kindness.
  39. Settle in for 8 hours of work at challenging but satisfying job.
  40. Lean in.
  41. Drink at least 64 ounces of water.
  42. Take short breaks every 20 minutes to give eyes a break from the computer screen.
  43. Avoid baked goods available in office kitchen.
  44. Have mid-morning snack.
  45. Don’t say “I’m Sorry” in emails.
  46. Stretch.
  47. Eat lunch while taking a few minutes to focus on myself.
  48. Drink cup of herbal tea.
  49. Say Thank You.
  50. Have mid-afternoon snack.
  51. Kegel exercises
  52. Speak up in meetings.
  53. Leave work at reasonable time to achieve proper work-life balance.
  54. Meet up with friends at local bar for drinks.
  55. Laugh.
  56. Order a vodka soda instead of beer or cocktail.
  57. Have a seltzer water with a lemon instead of a vodka soda.
  58. Listen to latest podcasts on commute from bar.
  59. Wash hands immediately upon arrival home to avoid getting sick.
  60. Spend 20 minutes picking up the house.
  61. Call a friend or family member to express love for them.
  62. Prepare healthy meal with life partner while discussing our respective days.
  63. Eat healthy meal on small-sized dinner plate to avoid overeating.
  64. Eat less meat.
  65. Have small piece of chocolate as a reward.
  66. Wash dishes and put them away.
  67. Get kitchen ready for morning routine.
  68. Identify outfit from capsule wardrobe for the next day.
  69. Do yoga.
  70. Use foam roller.
  71. Achieve goal of at least 10,000 steps.
  72. Binge watch Netflix.
  73. Meditate.
  74. Accept flaws.
  75. Drink glass of red wine.
  76. Leave technology outside of the bedroom so you aren’t disturbed while sleeping.
  77. Oil pulling.
  78. Floss.
  79. Remove makeup.
  80. Wash face.
  81. Use face serum, preferably with retinoid.
  82. Use a night cream.
  83. Diffuse essential oils for relaxing sleep.
  84. Get in bed.
  85. Exhale.
  86. Put on orange glasses to block blue light for optimal sleep.
  87. Read a book for pleasure.
  88. Journal.
  89. Have sex.
  90. Cuddle.
  91. Pee.
  92. Turn on white noise machine.
  93. Set intentions for tomorrow.
  94. Be grateful.
  95. Fall asleep for 7–8 hours excited for what tomorrow has in store.